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Thursday, September 04, 2008

Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear On Your First Day Of School
 Top Ten   
"Please rise as we pledge allegiance to North Korean Dictator Kim Jong Il"
"None of our students have lice -- can't say the same for the cafeteria"
"I'm not only your guidance counselor, I'm also the janitor"
"Algebra is over -- let's hit the showers"
"I'm your teacher, Mrs. Weston. Last year you knew me as Mr. Weston"
"So your mom tells me you're a bed-wetter"
"Instead of dissecting frogs, we'll be dissecting the body of the late Aleksander Solzhenitsyn"
"Grades will be based on how much you leave in my tip jar"
"I taught George W. Bush"
"Hi, I'm Principal Dick, but you can call me Andy"
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"Don't use up all the chalk. It's also your lunch"

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"I's y'all's English teacher"

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"To streamline things this year, you're going to be teased as both the fat kid and the smelly kid"

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"Due to budget cuts, Spanish class consists of showing you reruns of Telemundo's 'Sabado Gigante'"

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