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Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear On Thanksgiving
 Top Ten   
"In the year since we were last together, I forgot how much I despised you people"
"These styrofoam peanuts are just as good as stuffing"
"Instead of watching football, I Tivo'd a week of Regis"
"This time next year, I'll be aunt Roger"
"Finish carving the turkey, then we'll see if we can reattach your thumb"
"There are two pecan pies -- one I licked and one I didn't"
"Why is Shecky naked?"
"Surprise! It's a raccoon!"
"Did I shoot this turkey myself? You betcha!"
"Who invited Letterman?"
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"Are you wearing a wire?"

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"After grandpa has a couple more glasses of wine, get him to sign the new will"

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"White or green meat?"

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"Instead of grace, I'd like to read a selection from the Late Show Fun Facts book"

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"You want a wing or a hoof?"

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