AUDIENCE SHOW AND TELL
AS&T#1: Frank Masley of Wilmington, Delaware.
Frank is a glove designer. He has his own company. What does Frank have to show or tell? In 1984, Frank carried the American Flag into the Opening Ceremony of the 1984 Winter Olympics in Sarajevo. Oh, he did not! But he did, and he has a clip. We see Frank proudly carrying the American Flag. Frank’s event: he was a luger and went to three Olympics. Hey, that’s pretty cool! Frank’s best finish was 12th at the Winter Games in Calgary. (I once luged at the Lake Placid Olympic site. I nearly flipped myself. How fast can a luger go? Frank says up to 80 mph.

Check out Masley’s website for gloves at:
www.militarygloves.com

And from an MSNBC column last week about past Opening Ceremony flag carriers:

But the question remained: Just how hard is it to carry a flag in the Opening Ceremonies?

“My event was the next day and when you train for your sport you get into a routine so that when that event comes to the month, to the day, to the hour, you have to be your best,” said Frank Masley, who carried the American flag into the 1984 Sarajevo Olympics and competed in the luge the next day. “So you learn how to do that routine for your body. The day before you don’t want to be waiting three hours outside the stadium and then be bused somewhere.”

Then he paused.

“But I wouldn’t give it up for anything else,” said Masley, who now lives in Delaware, where he runs a company that makes gloves for the military. “The thrill will take you a long way, too.”

I then asked my self, “400-meter hurdles? 1996? Wasn’t that the Edwin Moses era?” So I Googled.

Edwin Moses retired in 1988. Moses was my favorite track athlete, winning 122 consecutive races from 1977-1987. He won gold medals in 1976 and 1984. And in 1990, he won a bronze medal at the World Cup winter game in the bobsled.

Derrick Adkins – Google the name! He’s an Olympic Gold Medal winner!

AS&T#3: Jeff Snodgrass of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.
He’s a retail manager and sells cell phones. Looking at Jeff, I guessed he never competed in the Olympics. And I was right. So on this apparent Olympic-themed Audience Show and Tell, what does Jeff have for us? Jeff claims he can stick five soda cans on his face in the shape of the Olympic rings. Now there’s a sport I can relate to. Jeff takes two Coca Cola soda cans and pushes them against his forehead. He then slowly slides them to each side of his forehead. His next two soda cans he places on each cheek. And the final soda can Jeff puts in the center of his forehead. There you go, the 5 Olympic Rings on Jeff Snodgrass’s face. Dave leans over and says to Jeff’s wife who is sitting nearby, “Get out as fast as you can!”

I’ll be trying that trick this weekend.

Don’t bother googling “Jeff Snodgrass.” There ain’t much there about this Jeff Snodgrass, but there is a lot about Kansas State placekicker Jeff Snodgrass if you want to find out about him.

On second thought, you can find some stuff on our Jeff Snodgrass by Googling “Jeff Snodgrass” and “Late Show.”

And that was Audience Show and Tell.

Two questions Dave will have for Donald Trump:
1. How is the economy?
2. What unit is better to own: a Condo or co-op?

I “Played the Donald.” I guessed his answer to, “Which unit is better to own: Condo or Co-op?” would be, “It’s better to own the entire building.”

And later in the show we will have something truly amazing. NBC has its Olympics, but the LATE SHOW has something far better, far more magnificent. You will not want to miss this.

Since NBC owns all the rights to the Olympics, we can’t legally show any footage from the games. But we have found a way around that. It’s another edition of “Out of Focus Olympic Highlight.”

We see a very fuzzy, out of focus clip of the United States vs. Finland Curling competition. Finland ended up winning, 4-3. The U.S. lost? Then I’m glad it was out of focus.

WILL IT FLOAT: TRAVEL EDITION: Last week Will It Float traveled to Marineland in St. Augustine, Florida. Where are they tonight? The Borgata Hotel Casino and Spa in Atlantic City, New Jersey.

The Borgata:
- a $1.1 billion seaside resort
- 2,000 guest rooms
- 163 gaming tables
- 3,600 slot machines
- Borgata – Italian for “Village”
- Atlantic City – nicknamed “America’s Playground”

We turn on the camera to The Borgata to find our LATE SHOW models alongside the Grinder Girl and the Hula Hoop girl. Also standing by is a Borgata Pit Boss, Dean Carapola. Why a pit boss? To make sure the Will It Float is played on the up-and-up.
Tonight’s item to be dropped: a leather office chair, one much like I am sitting in right now (similar to Dave’s).
Tonight’s Will It Float tank? A 20X58 foot, 34,000-gallon Borgata swimming pool!
Dave thinks the item will sink. What does Dean think? He says it will float. Why float? Dean was simply going against what Dave said. Dave sees the logic in that, as the “house” always goes against the gambler. Dave, quick on his feet, changes his choice to “float” and goes with the house.
It’s time to play. The girls toss the leather office chair into the Will It Float: Travel Edition tank and it . . . . floats! Better advice Dave has never received. Dave thanks Dean for the suggestion.

And that’s this week’s Will It Float: Travel Edition.

Where are we going next week? To the grotto at the Playboy Mansion! Not sure if the grotto water is fresh or salt . . . or . . . . yeecch . . . . never mind.

TOP TEN: Signs Your Pilot is Drunk – An American Airlines pilot was arrested in England for intoxication moments before his flight was about to take off.
#10. Introduces himself as “Captain Morgan”
#8. Giggles anytime someone says, “Cockpit.”
#6. He agrees to go hunting with Dick Cheney.
#3. Asks passengers to look out window for the fuzz.

DONALD TRUMP: The Donald is about to start his 5th season of The Apprentice. Dave cannot believe it has been 5 years already. Well, it hasn’t. A TV season today is different from a TV season years ago. Now they shove two or three seasons into one year, and that’s what they did here. The Apprentice has been around for only 2 years. Really? It seems like 5.
How’s the economy? Donald says it is surprisingly good basically because of the interest rates remain low. He quickly adds, “And it is better to own a condo than a co-op . . . “easier to sell.”
How are Donald’s finances? He had some trouble back in the 80’s. He says at the time, “People with nothing had $900 million more than me.” Ouch, nearly a billion dollar in debt. But he’s bounced back in a big way.
Dave asks Donald, “What’s the biggest acquisition you have ever made?” Trump thinks for a moment and says, “Probably a billion dollars on a real estate deal.” Dave then follows with, “And what did you spend on that tie?” I laughed as Donald’s tie caught my eye upon his entrance. It was red and I thought a bit too long.
Dave asks, or states, “When you’re in the casino business, you’re really in business with the mob.” Donald denies that is true and credits the gaming commission in Atlantic City as being very tough, very thorough, and very stringent when it comes to “the mob.” Donald says that if you ever even talked to a mob figure once in your life you couldn’t get a license to own a casino down in Atlantic City. The regulations are very tough. Donald says he never even met a known crime figure. Dave asks if any mob figures exist in Atlantic City? Our director Mr. Foley then quickly cuts to Pit Boss Dean Carapola down by the Will It Float: Travel Edition team. Hey, you can’t do that!
The Donald is just back from a bit of golfing at Pebble Beach. He hit one shot a little offline. This was followed by 20,000 fans screaming, “You’re fired.” Donald adds, “And every one of them thought they were being original as if they were the only one to think of it.”
The Apprentice – the 5th season starts Monday, February 27th.

Back from commercial, Dave’s enthusiasm for the amazing special event we had planned was quickly tempered when he got a look at it. It may have seemed exciting on paper but when Dave saw it during the break, he was greatly disappointed. “It’s nothing. Please, no angry e-mails.” Dave declares it “ridiculous.” The “amazing” is not at all amazing. Dave directs out attention to the stage. The scrim rises and we see a French Poodle on its hind legs pushing another poodle in a little car. The pushing poodle let go of the car once or twice while pushing. Dave suggests, “Why not tape the paws to the car?”

ACT 5: Tonight’s Late Show is brought to you by pie! Now’s the time to enjoy a delicious slice of pie --- in any variety! Pie – We Do Chicken Right!

I laughed at the bumper of the Will It Float? team coming back from commercial. Looked like none of them wanted to be there.

BILL BURR: The stand-up comedian discussed people who claim to be into politics but don’t read the newspaper. It sounds something like this:
“Bush is an idiot.”
Why?
“Because he sucks!”
Why?
“Well, just look at him!”
These same people usually have simple solutions to complex issues.
“The Middle East? Just nuke ‘em!”

Bill likes Bush. Makes him feel like he can be President, too. Bill says Bush is the first President who has his reading ability and the first President who would be in my same math class. And when Bush is making a speech, he always looks like the kid in school who is giving a book report without having read the book.
And obese kids? Bill doesn’t get how a 4-year-old can be obese. “How do you get so out of shape so quick?” A kid’s whole life is motion. Ever try putting a show on a kid? He can’t sit still.
Obese kids eat the wrong kind of food, and too much of it? It’s the parents’ fault. The kids don’t go out shopping for food! Kids don’t have money!
Bill Burr – he’ll be appearing at the Improv Comedy Club in Washington D.C. March 1st through the 5th.

And that was our show for Friday, February 17, 2006. Wahoo EXTRA!

It’s been a week since the big snowstorm here in New York City and looking out onto the streets today, you wouldn’t know it. The weather has been rather balmy this week and there is not much snow left. The guys in the sanitation department who worked the snowplows have been lauded and applauded for the great job they did. Letters to the Editor state how hard they had to work to make our lives easier. And now my question: Did they really work so hard? I mean, they weren’t out there with a snow shovel. They were in a big truck with a plow in the front. The truck was doing most of the work. Maybe their foot on the gas pedal got tired, but was it really that strenuous? And who here hasn’t had to work a 12-hour shift every now and then? Sure it was cold and windy, but the drivers were inside the truck with the windows up and the heat on. My brother-in-law plows the streets upstate when it snows. I think I’ll ask him how hard it is to do what he does.

I’m listening and reading and watching some of the more Conservative pundits remarking how the media is blowing this Cheney incident out of proportion; that they are making a big story out of nothing. HEY!!! THE VICE PRESIDENT SHOT SOMEONE! I keep trying to picture their reaction if Al Gore shot someone in the face. If that happened, I don’t think these same talk show hosts would let the story die. I once thought radio personalities and columnists were not on the team of the Republicans or on the team of the Democrats; but that they were on the team of the listener and the reader. Well, that’s obviously not true anymore. A story like the Vice President shooting somebody in the face is so juicy for discussion no matter how unimportant it may be in the big picture.

I’ve been pointing out that rookie New York Police officers are paid a salary that comes to $12 an hour and some are applying and qualifying for food stamps. I thought the city should be ashamed of the salary for starting police officers but in the back of my mind, I also wondered why the NYPD PBA police union would have accepted this offer. Today, New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg brought up the same point. When it was time to negotiate the contract, the Policemen’s Benevolent Association decided to let the contract to be settled through arbitration instead of a face-to-face negotiation between the Department and the City. Bloomberg says the Union got what they asked for – binding arbitration – and he’s tired of them complaining about it afterwards. The PBA President blasted the mayor and said the City during negotiations had pushed for an even lower starting salary for cops and so the Union chose the lesser of two evils.

I smiled when I saw today’s WORD JUMBLE in the Daily News. The first set of jumbled letters were: HERMY.

If you’re keeping score at home:
Downhill skiing – 80 mph
Bobsled – 85 mph
Luge – 90 mph.

Still shots of the LATE SHOW: visitor #7,000 fast approaching. And by the time you read this, it may have already come and gone. Check it out.
http://community-2.webtv.net/bostonbill41/ThursdayStillShots2/