Dave hypes the new and improved Late Show website. Perhaps you've heard about it. This is how I typed up the info on Dave's blue card:

The New and Improved Late Show Website: re-launched Thursday, January 11th.
Website address is www.cbs.com/lateshow
-The completely redesigned website features over 3,000 video clips of guests and comedy highlights.
It also includes:
-A top ten archive with every Late Show Top Ten since 1993
-Full-length performances of musical guests
-The Tony Mendez Show, starring our cue card boy Tony Mendez
-"Dave's Erotic Newsletter"
-And much more.
-Online Producers: Jay Johnson and Walter Kim

So why didn't I add the Wahoo Gazette? It was on the list given me by Walter and Jay, but it didn't seem show-bizzy enough for Dave to read. I thought it would take too much explaining.
-The 3,000 video clips are impressive.
-The Top Ten archive is interesting.
-Performances by our musical guests are exciting and people are always e-mailing for a clip.
-The Tony Mendez Show - I thought Dave would bring Tony into the conversation. And I was right. Dave asks about the excitingly new Tony Mendez Show but is confused about when it comes on and how often it comes on. I think it comes out once a week with a new episode every Tuesday. Oh, by the way, there is a new Wahoo Gazette each and every day. In the sheet given me by the online producers, the Wahoo Gazette was described this way: "A daily recap of every broadcast. It's the longest running television show blog on the internet." We don't know for sure, but I would bet it is.
-"Dave's Erotic Newsletter" - Dave has often mentioned this as a feature on the site.
-And much more. That's me. The Wahoo Gazette is the "and much more.
-And then I added Walter and Jay's name to the bottom of the blue card as a "shout out" to them.

Barack Obama has spoken openly about his substance abuse as a young man, and pollsters say his candor is now boosting his poll numbers. So we shouldn't be surprised to see this.
Announcer: (over photos of Obama)

"In his memoir 'Dreams from My Father', Barack Obama wrote in vivid detail of his past struggles with substance abuse, and political pundits believe his candor has actually strengthened his support among voters. In light of this presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich (photo of Kucinich) would like America to know that before every speech, he gets ripped on vodka."
Cut to footage of Dennis Kucinich awkwardly singing "Sixteen Tons". "Dennis Kucinich: All the way in '08"

At the bottom of Dave's blue card for the Obama/Kucinich bit, I added the lyrics to the chorus of "Sixteen Tons" just in case Dave wanted to join in. He took a gander at it and for a second there I thought he was going to sing.

"You haul Sixteen Tons, whadaya get?
Another older and deeper in debt
Saint Peter don't you call me cause I can't go
I owe my soul to the company store."

Back from the clip, Dave puts a finger up to his ear as he receives word that we have live satellite coverage from Los Angeles . . . snowy weather . . . of Lindsay Lohan driving to a rehab clinic. We see a clip of a car skidding on an icy street and finally crashing into a wall. Dave receives further word that she is OK.

The weather has gone completely nuts here in New York. The other day it was 75 degrees and the next day is was 32. Experts are blaming El Nino. And we have him here tonight. Ladies and gentlemen, El Nino. It's our good friend Gerard Mulligan, playing the part of El Nino.

TOP TEN: MESSAGES LEFT ON FIDEL CASTRO'S ANSWERING MACHINE - according to sources in a Cuban hospital, the condition of Fidel Castro continues to worsen.
My favorite:
#2 - "It's Saddam Hussein --- see you soon!"
#1 - "Wow, congratulations on having Cuba's only answering machine."
Check out the rest of the Top Ten on Last Night on the Late Show.

HARRY SHEARER: He's the voice of many on "The Simpsons" and the author of "Not Enough Indians." Harry started in show business at a very early age. He took piano lessons as a youth, which may have caused his piano teacher to go into a different line of work. She wanted to become a children's agent and she wanted Harry to be one of her clients. After several months, she got Harry a part on The Jack Benny Program, where he continued to work for another 8 years. On the show, he was a kid who was a member of the Beverly Hills Beaver Cub Scout troop. He remembers making Jack Benny laugh by delivering a line in a Brooklyn accent. Dave and Harry each heap high praise on Mr. Benny who was the master of the comedic pause. Harry remembers watching Jack Benny on the Carson show when he was on in years. Jack would pause and hesitate even longer than usual and the home viewer would grow concerned, thinking Jack may be losing it or perhaps lost his way or forgot his train of thought. It would become uncomfortable. Jack knew this and used it to his advantage. When he delivered the knockout line, the audience would roar with laughter, realizing they had been slightly had. Harry was also on the pilot episode of "Leave it To Beaver" playing the part of Frankie. He didn't get the part, and the Frankie character morphed into Eddie Haskell. Sorry, Harry, but I'm glad you didn't get the part. Eddie Haskell is one of my all-time favorites. A great great character.
Harry has satellite technology at his home which allows him to watch the feed of news programs before the news comes on the air. For instance, he was able to watch Dan Rather on a February day in Seattle outside on a rooftop. This would be where Dan would be doing the news. For 40 minutes before the newscast, Dan had a very serious conversation on whether to wear a trench coat or not; followed by another 20 minutes on whether to wear the collar up or the collar down. It was all discussed in the most serious manner.
Harry's novel, "Not Enough Indians" sounds like a laugh-out-loud about an Indian village attempting to start up a casino.

Back on the old show, we would occasionally turn on the external camera and see show was still at work in the office building across the street. We haven't done this in years but we thought it might be fun to try it again tonight. We turn on the camera and zero in on an office across Broadway. Dave says the guy in this office is always the last to leave. He's always working late. We were able to get his phone number and Dave punches in the number on his desk phone. A moment later, we see the guy in the office across the street turn to answer his phone. This was a relief to me. Step one was accomplished. I'm always nervous when typing in the phone number on the blue card that I will slip or fumble and type it wrong. For instance, the three numbers after the area code was very similar to my old phone number. When I typed it the first time, I accidentally typed in mine. Thankfully I immediately caught my mistake.
Who is this guy? We find out. The guy tells us he's Todd Carlson, an associate editor for "House Beautiful" magazine. Is it good work? Does he always work late? Todd answers. During the conversation, we see a guy walk by Todd's door. The guy backs up and enters Todd's office. He is not happy. It's Todd's boss. He starts yelling at Todd: "Todd, why are you on the phone? We have talked about this. You're supposed to be working . . . . you know what? Get your things and get out of here!" His boss exits.
Dave asks a stunned Todd if everything is OK. Todd stumbles and stammers and says he has to go. As the camera pulls back through the office building, we see Todd bury his head in his hands.
That's not what we had in mind.

VERA FARMIGA: The lovely actress is in "The Departed" and in the January 26th release of "Breaking and Entering." Dave asks what it was like to work with all those pretty boys in "The Departed" like Matt Damon and Leonardo DiCaprio? She kept it simple and realized they were just plain regular guys. Yes, even Hollywood's biggest stars are just people, but it's a well-kept secret.
Vera grew up in New Jersey in a Ukrainian family of 7 kids. She was 2nd in line. The family came in two batches. There were four kids, followed by a big gap, and then 3 more kids. Everything in the house and the neighborhood was Ukrainian. She spoke the language, danced, sang, did it all. She was a member a Ukrainian dance troupe that performed in the Ukraine and here in New York at Lincoln Center. Does she still have it? Can she still do a few steps? Paul starts up with an impromptu Ukrainian-sounding song on the piano and Vera did a spin and a twirl. Put that on your resume, Vera: "I've danced on Broadway!"
Vera lives upstate and owns a couple of Nubian goats. Why goats? She says she always wanted to be a shepherdess. Does she milk the goats? She plans to eventually milk them as she thinks she may be allergic to cow's milk. But first she has to breed them. That's how you get milk from a goat . . . they first have to breed. That may be soon, says Vera, since they seem pretty horny these days. Dave holds each thumb and forefinger about a quarter-inch apart and says to Vera . . . "Goat have little . . . ." Vera finishes the word Dave is looking for: "teats." Dave, a bit shocked, says, "No . . . eyes. They have little slits for eyes." Doh! I have a feeling Dave set that one up. "Breaking and Entering" - with Jude Law; it opens in selected cities January 26th.

ACT 5: It's Todd Carlson packing up his things in the office across the street.

MAT KEARNEY: From his new CD, "Nothing Left to Lose," Mat Kearney performed "Nothing Left to Lose."

And that was our show for Thursday, January 18, 2007.



About Todd Carlson of "House Beautiful" in the office across the street: Obviously, it was all set up by us. The two involved are Late Show staff members. My favorite part about that whole thing? At the end of rehearsal, it was suggested that the poster in the hall outside Todd's office be taken down or changed, if possible. Originally, it was a Superman poster. Since Todd supposedly worked for "House Beautiful", it wouldn't really make sense for there to be a Superman poster out there. A call was made late in the day to see if it could be taken down. We learned it was a mounted movie poster and I left it at that. I figured it couldn't be changed, figuring I did what I could and then went on to take care of my stuff. Not till the camera zoomed in to Todd's office did I see the huge "House Beautiful" poster. I was VERY impressed with the last second poster change. How did we do that? When I find out, I'll let you know. I was very impressed. And it was a great looking poster. I want to know step-by-step how this was done. Very impressive.

THIS DATE IN HISTORY: JANUARY 18, 1943:
"Pre-sliced bread was banned in the U.S. for the duration of World War II, to conserve metal from spare parts that might be needed." No sliced bread during World War II. And what have we been asked to sacrifice during our current war? The only thing asked of us is to shop and buy a yellow ribbon car magnet.

Every time I see a yellow ribbon magnet on the back of an SUV, I think of John Prine's "Your Flag Decal Won't Get You Into Heaven Anymore." He wrote it in 1971 and it works as much now as it did then. Check it out.

From last Sunday's New York Daily News; Sunday Forum Mailbag:

SUPER SATURDAY During the wild card weekend, NBC and the NFL did an interactive Internet poll. During this year's Super Bowl, when hundreds of millions of fans are watching, I would like them to do another such poll. I'll suggest a question: Would you prefer the Super Bowl to be played on Saturday evening or the traditional Sunday evening?
With the Super Bowl becoming a pseudo American holiday, with parties throughout the land, wouldn't it make more sense if the world's number one sports party event were played in the middle of the weekend as opposed to the night before the masses return to work?
I have no official statistics to quote from - if they even exist - but my instincts tell me that the day after the Super Bowl, due to hangovers and sick days, is one of the least productive work days of the year.
And on the strength of my assertion, I bet that an overwhelming percentage of Americans - both employers and employees - would prefer the game to be played on Saturday evening, so everyone can relax and have a full day to recuperate.
People who fear change criticized the Super Bowl being pushed into February. But the earth didn't fall off its axis because of it. And I predict that the Super Bowl being played on a Saturday night will be a welcomed and necessary change that will be immediately accepted by the masses, making the NFL even more popular. Eugene R. Dunn, Medford

Ahhh, Mr. Dunn, welcome to my side. I've been preaching this for years and have developed quite an argument, if I do say so myself. Instead of "Super Bowl Sunday", it should be promoted as "Super Bowl Weekend."

From the Wahoo Gazette, February 1, 2005.

MY SATURDAY SUPER BOWL PLAN: I'm pushing the idea to move the Super Bowl to Saturday from now on, so the folks on the east coast could throw an adequate Super Bowl Party without worrying about work the next day. Plus, kids would be allowed to stay to the game's completion. Right now the game starts too late, after 6:00 PM on a Sunday night, and becomes too much of an effort for those on the east coast to enjoy.
So this is my plan for a Saturday Super Bowl. It would be more convenient to the home viewer and it would be better for the fans at the game. But of course, a decision of this magnitude - changing the Super Bowl to a Saturday - has nothing to do with the benefits to the fans. The only interest in the move would be to make more money for those who already have a whole lot of money. Could the network make more money? Could the NFL make more money? Could the players make more money? If you can answer "Yes" to the above questions, then the Super Bowl being moved to a Saturday is a possibility. The fans? Not even a concern. Not in the equation. So how can the above make money?

THE NETWORKS - Saturday is the slowest TV day of the week. By putting the Super Bowl on Saturday immediately puts it to the top! From the bottom to the top! Sunday already is the biggest TV night. Putting the Super Bowl on a Sunday is only making the strong stronger. The Saturday increase would be greater, making the weak strong. And if the game is played on Saturday, the start time can be inched up later than it is now, and viewers on the east coast are more likely to stay around to the end without work to worry about the next day.

THE NFL - right now, the Super Bowl is played on Super Bowl Sunday. Move it to Saturday and now the Super Bowl is played on Super Bowl Weekend! That's right. Now the Super Bowl isn't a one day deal --- it's a whole weekend! Three days of NFL football festivities. And the networks can play this up as well. They can televise the pre-game festivities on Friday night and Sunday can be the post-game celebrations with live entertainment and interviews with the winning team. Lots of celebrities. Lots of entertainment. Lots of promoting of the network's television shows over 3 days.

THE PLAYERS - of course the players would benefit from this. The winning team would be feted all day Sunday on national TV instead of only locally as they are now on the Monday after Super Bowl Sunday. As it stands now, all the Super Bowl coverage the day before and the day after the Super Bowl is local. By making it a big event, sandwiching the game on Saturday, gives the network and the NFL control over the NATIONAL coverage. It would be a well organized money-squeeze instead of the rushed, helter-skelter post game celebration. Why make the post-game celebration a half-hour rush job late on Sunday night where few are watching on the east coast when it can become a three-hour extravaganza in primetime Sunday!

There is still more work to be done but this is just a start. Just keep thinking "Super Bowl Weekend" vs. "Super Bowl Sunday." More on this to come.

(Psssst. I don't want "them" to hear me. And the Super Bowl on Saturday will benefit the fan as well. No work the day after the Super Bowl. Super Bowl parties would really become a big event all over the country. Lots of overnight bashes at big hotels. But don't let "them" know it would benefit the fan. It might screw up the whole thing.)

Hold it. My idea about hotels across the country throwing Super Bowl parties is better than I first thought. Imagine what hotels could to with a Super Bowl on a Saturday. Big parties, without the driving, and sold-out rooms. And it wouldn't just be in the Super Bowl host city. It would be in every city across the nation. It would be bigger than New Years Eve! Dang it, it makes so much sense! Now we're talking about the hotel business getting behind this idea.

And last year, I pitched this idea:
My Super Bowl Weekend Idea: This could maximize the television schedule for the hosting network:
1. Play the game on Saturday night so those in the East can enjoy their parties without having to worry about work the next day.
2. Friday night - "The Super Bowl Friday Night Primetime Special" - includes the announcement of the season's MVP, NFL clips of the outstanding plays of the year (with internet voting for the top play), and a look at past Super Bowl commercials. They could also announce the inductees into the Football Hall of Fame.
3. Sunday night: "The Super Bowl Sunday Night Variety Show." - includes a recap of the game/commercials/national anthem/halftime/etc. Musical guests/comedians/winning team and MVP.

Once again, let me know what you think. I already have Eugene R. Dunn of Medford in my corner. What about you?

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From LeClaire, Iowa, it's Mike Beaderstadt
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER