Dave is a happy man. His Colts are moving on to the Super Bowl, but it wasn't easy. It wasn't easy for the Colts or for Dave. Late in the 2nd Quarter, the Colts were down 21-3. The Patriots were so confident they were talking of playing the 2nd half without helmets. Well, things turned and turned out right. Final Score: Pats 34; Colts 38.

Do you have the cough yet? Dave's got something tickling his esophagus and he can't clear it. And he's not alone. About 20 in the audience have the same.

Dave billboards the show and then finds our building engineer George Clarke in a bathrobe standing by Dave's desk. What's up?
George: "Dave, congrats on your Colts winning. I never go back on a bet, so here you go." George drops his robe to reveal he is dressed in a white T-shirt and boxer shorts. On his T-shirt is written: "Sexyback"
With "Sexyback" music and vocals from Paul, George Clarke dances the way only he can. He continues dancing out the blue doors and exits. On the way out, we can see a little "Tricia Helfer on the cover of Playboy" action

The entry of Hillary Clinton into the 2008 presidential race has rocked the political world. In fact, the crop of candidates for 2008 is like nothing we've ever seen before. We watch.
Announcer:

"Senator Hillary Clinton made history over the weekend by becoming the first major female candidate for President. But 2008 will be history-making for other reasons, as well. Barack Obama is the first major African-American candidate for president. Mitt Romney is the first major Mormon candidate. Bill Richardson is the first major Latino candidate for president. And Dennis Kucinich is the first candidate to never have gotten laid." (Cut to Dennis Kucinich inexplicably singing "16 Tons.")
"Paid for by the Federal Election Commission."

"You haul Sixteen Tons, whadaya get?
Another day older and deeper in debt
Saint Peter don't you call me cause I can't go
I owe my soul to the company store."

SMALL TOWN NEWS
The Rochester (Minnesota) Post: "Police seek suspect in home break-ins. Neighbors who saw the suspect described him as looking 'turtle-like' and having a high-pitched voice." We close in on the artist's sketch of the suspect. Yikes. Dave says it shouldn't be hard to find this guy.

Cameron Parish (Louisiana) Pilot: "The fur festival's Muskrat-Skinning Contest will be held Saturday night on the stage of the Cameron Elementary School Auditorium.

From a Rockford, Illinois paper: "A free breastfeeding class, for mothers who are breastfeeding, their babies and fathers."

The Spectrum & Daily News (St. George, Utah): Police Report: "A man allegedly went to buy beer without his driver's license, but he attempted o use a D.U.I. citation that had his birthday printed on it."

The Pilot Point (Texas) Post-Signal: Here's an announcement from Lowbrow's Beer and Wine Garden: "We are aware that many people who come in and say what a nice place this is are then going around and talking about the 'surly staff' and 'incompetent management.' STOP IT!"

St. Clair County (Missouri) Courier: "These boys are enjoying Social Studies. They had to take a piece of toast and eat it into a state shape."

The Lafayette (Indiana) Journal and Courier: "Absolutely free. Folding white cane with red tip for the blind. If you know someone who is blind, tell them about this, since they cannot read this ad."

Goose Creek (South Carolina) Gazette: "Mayor grilled at meeting . . . after more than an hour of questioning . . . (Mayor) Heitzler said, 'I'm tired. It's been a long day and I want to go home and lie down on my couch."

The Worcester (Massachusetts) Telegram & Gazette: "Courthouse records. 'My A. Ho' charged with receiving stolen property and giving a false name."

The Picayune (Mississippi) item: "Man found dead in cemetery."

The Observer (Rio Rancho, New Mexico): "Adopt an adorable pet. Male cat, name: Blinky. This cat is a real sweetheart." (photo is of a dog)

The Rochester (New York) Democrat & Chronicle: Here's a heartwarming quote from school volunteer George Heinlein: "I see these kids really struggling . . . I get a lot of joy from doing this."

The Venice (Florida) Gondolier Sun: "Bill Pasquarella shows his right thumb. He recently had it reattached after he sawed it off while doing carpentry. This summer he also had to have this ear sewn back on."

GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES: "I like going to states that have real live cowboys."

Back from commercial, Dave continues about his Colts. He asks if you watched the end of the game when Patriots coach Bill Belichick and Colts QB Peyton Manning neared each other at midfield for a post-game greeting. It looked like it was going to be one of those hugs but Belichick pulled away, telling Manning, "Leave me alone, sweaty."

Dave then had another one of his coughing spells. He coughs and coughs . . . and then he coughs up a little birdie. I scurried to find another possible item he could cough up. I found an old golf ball. Someone else offered a cellphone. He ended up coughing up no more. We'll see if this continues tonight.

KEVIN SPACEY: Mr. Spacey tells Dave the show owes him a suit. How's that? The last time Spacey was on the show, we had a big and powerful fan out on 53rd Street that could levitate you and allowed you to pretend to be a skydiver. Kevin "volunteered" to give it a try. It looked like fun, but unfortunately it ripped the lining in his suit. Dave reminds, "Did you read the fine print of the contract? Page 3?" Obviously, Kevin Spacey didn't. It clearly states that the Late Show and Worldwide Pants are not responsible for ripped lining.
Kevin is the artistic director of the famed Old Vic Theater in London, which he calls the most satisfying thing he has ever done. Peter O'Toole comes to every one of the productions and sits right up there in the front row. He had a problem with one play, a comedy. The set had two couches onstage. After the show, he came backstage and offered in a loud voice, "You cannot to comedy without legs! You cannot do comedy without legs!" What? Apparently, Kevin was standing behind the couches for most of the play and according to Peter O'Toole, you cannot do comedy without legs. Hmm, maybe Katie Couric was on to something when she hosted the Tonight Show.
Kevin also hosted a 60th birthday party for his friend, the former President Bill Clinton. He points out he didn't host THE birthday party; he only hosted one of the birthday parties for the President. Bill Clinton went on a 6-month birthday tour. For the party, Spacey opened the evening by doing his Johnny Carson impression. And he graced us with his Carson tonight. It's something Spacey usually does for us when he visits and it's always fun.
You can see Kevin Spacey and "The Moon of the Misbegotten" here in New York at the Brooks Atkinson Theater. Previews start March 29th.

ALICIA KEYS: dressed in all black. Alicia makes her acting debut in the film, "Smokin' Aces" which opens this Friday. Alicia is just back from a well-deserved 3-week vacation through Egypt, Italy, and Greece. How was that? She loved it, especially since she went by herself. Every get lonely? No. Did she have dinner by herself? Yup, and it was great. She was able to sit and relax without the pressure of mingling. She was able to simply watch other people conversing and was on no timetable. She would do it again when the opportunity arises. And when she was out there, she ran a marathon . . . and not any marathon . . . THE marathon in Greece. Lots of hills, some short stops, but she was able to complete the run.
"Smokin' Aces" - opens this Friday. We see a clip. Looks like a lot of gun fun.

RUPERT'S SOUP OF THE DAY: We haven't done this in a while. It's Rupert's Soup of the Day.
Dave: "Rupert, what's the Soup of the Day?"
Rupert: It's the President Bush New Iraq Plan Soup."
Dave: "President Bush New Iraq Plan Soup? And what's in it?"
Rupert: "I don't know. All I know is nobody's buying it.

Dave mutters, "We're dong old Hee Haw material." I love Hee Haw material.

ACT 5: Would you like Donald Trump to viciously insult you? Simply send a postcard to:
I Want Donald Trump to Viciously Insult Me
c/o The Late Show
1697 Broadway
New York, New York 10019
And please specify whether you'd like to be called a fat slob, a disgusting pig, or a pathetic loser. This offer is good for a limited time only, so get going, America! We'll be right back.

NELLIE MCKAY AND THE BROOKLYN PHILHARMONIC: (McKay, pronounced McKye): Hey, she's the "I'm Just Walking My Dog" lady. Tonight, Nellie McKay performed "Happy Flower" from her new CD, "Pretty Little Head." Leading the Brooklyn Philharmonic was Michael Christie.

And that was our show for Monday, January 22, 2007.



I've resisted this for a long time, but I now find myself toying with it now and then. It's the Soduko, or Sodoku, or Soduku or whatever. I've put it off because I don't want to invest the time; time which I do not have. But I feel if I keep at is just a little bit longer, I'll figure out the tricks of the trade and recognize the short cuts to enable a quicker completion. Do you soduku?

The latest poll reports that 33% of Americans are happy with Bush's job performance. And that 33% are Democrats. They're ecstatic.

When I was in school, I was so ashamed of my bad eyesight that I memorized the eye chart. True story. The charts are all the same.

I see "American Idol's" Paula Abdul on one of the early morning news shows claiming she's never had a drink; never been drunk. Too bad. Now she can't pretend to go to rehab.

And speaking of early morning news show, if you haven't watched any of them, do so the next time you're up at 5:00 in the morning. The giggling idle chatter is . . . is . . . . so amateurish. They add noise just for the sake of making noise. There is no reason behind it. For instance, one of the anchors just threw to the traffic guy for a report this way: "Let's go to Joe who will tell us about your morning riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide."
Right now, the two newscasters at the desk are talking about people who use their cellphone in the bathroom stall at work. Of course, when they throw to the weather guy, he's got to comment on the cellphone in the bathroom. Lots of ha-ha's. The morning news is one big laugh-riot!

Oh, the weather guy just said it's going to be chilly this week, and you'll want to eat a lot of chili.

Pfizer is laying off thousands of employees. And I thought a soft market would be good for them.

Yes or no: Will George W. Bush mention the name Osama bin Laden tonight?

The Patriots: 34. The Colts: 38. Big play of the game: Down by 8, the Colts score a touchdown late in the 3rd quarter. They are now down by 2. Should they go for the sure 1-point extra point or go for the risky 2-point conversion to tie the game? Of the 5 guys I was with at the bar, 5 said go for the extra point; one of us said go for the 2. The Colts went for the 2 and were successful. Tie game at 21. I thought it was the wrong move that turned out right.
If the Colts were unsuccessful in their two-point conversion attempt and all things remained the same (I admit, a BIG "if"), when the Patriots and Tom Brady got the ball with one minute left in the game, the Colts would have been only leading by two points. The Pats would just need a field goal to win. Their approach to the final drive would have been completely different.

The Super Bowl is Sunday, February 5th at Dolphin Stadium in South Florida.
I like Dolphin Stadium because it is called "Dolphin" Stadium and not "Dolphins" Stadium. I like the singular. I mentioned this back on April 12, 2006 after I read an article:

"The Dolphins announced Saturday that they are dropping the 's' and renaming their home field Dolphin Stadium as part of an effort to embark on a new branding strategy. 'It's a small nuance, but my explanation of it is, if you think of the Miami Dolphins as an entity, as a team, as an organization with multiple people in it, that is a little different than Dolphin, which represents the stadium itself,' Dolphins Enterprises CEO Joe Bailey said of dropping the 's.'
'We felt that we wanted to capture the spirit of the Dolphins, the fact that they play here, and the fact that this is their home, but at the same time separate and make it its own unique brand.'"

Huh?
My guess is the Dolphins ordered a great big 'Dolphins' sign and when it was delivered they discovered they mistakenly ordered a 'Dolphin' sign and not a 'Dolphins' sign. Their accountants then tabulated that it would be cheaper to change the name of the stadium than it would to reorder a new "Dolphins" sign.

There's a guy who goes by the moniker BostonBill on the Letterman Late Show newsgroup. For each show, he puts of photos from the night's Late Show. My favorite thing is the counter he has at the bottom after the last photo. He's had over 24,500 visitors to the site in the past 15 months. Who will be #25,000? Will it be you?
Check out his website here:
http://community.webtv.net/bostonbill41/MondayStillShots122
Or visit the Letterman Late Show newsgroup by going to Google; click on Groups; type in Letterman, Enter; and then click on alt.letterman.newsgroup. You'll eventually find Still Shots. Oh, and the newsgroup isn't monitored so ignore the inappropriate stuff.

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Murrieta, California, it's Allan Alpert
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER