". . . . and now, Canadian Teen Heartthrob . . . David Letterman!"

ACT 1
Audience Show and Tell, America's fastest growing party sensation!

1. Adam Speer of Minneapolis, Minnesota. He's originally from South Australia. Dave sensed a bit of accent on Adam and was correct. Adam has been in Minneapolis for 25 years but there's still a hint of South Australia in his voice..

What's he doing in New York? Adam says he is visiting friends. Dave jumps for joy at the thought of Adam visiting friends here in New York. He leads the audience in a raucous ovation. And will Adam be showing or telling in tonight's Show and Tell? Adam says he will be doing both. Dave again leads the audience in a loud applause at the thought of both a show and a tell.
What does Adam have for us?
Show & Tell: he was an extra in the film, "Independence Day." And he has a clip. We see a joyous scene of many jubilant citizens in a large building. Cut to some military astronauts making their way through the celebrating crowd. Actor Bill Pullman leads the way. The military astronaut behind Bill Pullman is Adam Speer. How about that! That's a darn good role for an extra. I was expecting him to be one of the crowd but Adam was a main character in that short short scene. Nice going, Adam. I think he was the best "extra" we've had on. Very good face time.

A joke that I would tell expecting groans . . . I love joke-groans.
"Adam Speer --- his friends call him Chuck."

2. Merrill Dalton of Jackson, New Jersey. What's it near? Dave goes through a slew of Jersey towns looking for one near Jackson. Is it near Bayonne? It's not too near Bayonne, but Merrill said he born in Bayonne. I quickly threw out this question to anyone listening, "Yes or no . . . Dave asks about Chuck Wepner?" I bet YES. The correct answer: NO.

Merrill's Show & Tell: Sings "Take Me Out To The Ball Game," sounding like he is under water.
OK, then, let's give it a try. Merrill sings the gurgling song heard during the 7th inning stretch at major league baseball games. Nice job, Merrill.

3. Maquel Evans of Salt Lake City, Utah. Maquel is a high school teacher. Is school out for the year? Maquel says it isn't. She is taking a day off. Dave says that is a good example for the kids. How are the high school kids these days? Maquel says unconvincingly that they are good.

Show & Tell: she can play music on a hand saw. How'd she learn to do that? Her grandmother taught her mother, and her mother taught her. And her mother is here tonight to help in playing the saw. The handsaws are delivered and mom and daughter take a seat on the edge of the arm rest on the aisle. Dave does the same, but then leaps up as if pinched by Merrill Dalton. Dave gives him a dirty, what-the-heck-are-you-doing, look.
Mom and daughter play "Oh, What A Beautiful Morning" on their saws using a bow. This was a very interesting talent.

Dave is always looking to make "good" better. He asks Merrill if he would join in and sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" while the ladies play along on the saws. We finish Show and Tell with the trio performing together. And that was Audience Show and Tell.

And now it's time for "My Idea That Did Not Get On The Show." While Merrill performed with Maquel and mom, Gail, I suggested that Adam should stand in . . . just as an extra.
This concludes another installment of "My Idea That Did Not Get On The Show."

ACT 2
TONY MENDEZ'S "HOW IT'S MADE"
Our cue card boy Tony Mendez has a new show on the Discovery Channel called, "How It's Made." Tonight, we take a look at a clip from the upcoming episode of his visit to the Heartland Brewery to see how they make their beer.
We see the show open.
Tony is with Tom and Peggy Walsh, the owners of Heartland. As they tour the brewery, Tom explains how they make the beer.
TOM: "We basically convert the starches in the malted barley into fermentable sugars. We then add hops, separate the solids, and ferment. And that's it!"
TONY: "That's fascinating."
Tony is now sitting at a table between Tom and Peggy. There is a pitcher of beer on the table with 3 tall glasses.
TONY: "OK, this is the moment I've been waiting for. We get to sample the beer!" All three take a sip.
TONY: "Mmm, delicious! Almost nutty. Let's try a different flavor."
They try another glass and drink it down.
TONY: "Ohh, that's good. Hearty! Let's have another!"
We see shots of drinking and more drinking among the three. They share lots of laughs, lots of laughs.
Cut to Tom in the middle asleep with his head down on the counter. Tony is sitting back, tired, in his chair. Peggy is sitting back in her chair, tired.
TONY: "Well, that was a blast."
PEGGY: "It sure was. I hate to see it end."
TONY: "Well, it doesn't have to."
Tony and Peggy exchange a lascivious glance. Romantic music swells, and other things. There is a sexual tension.
Cut to a graphic reading: "Three weeks later . . ."
Cut to Tom, Peggy, and Tony sitting on the set of the Maury Povich Show. Peggy is near tears; Tony and Tom both tense with anticipation.
MAURY POVICH: "We're about to find out WHO the father is of Peggy's baby."
We see both Tony and Tom in great angst.
MAURY: "Tony . . . . you ARE the father of Peggy's baby!"
Tony is excited. Tom is distraught. The audience both boos and cheers. Tom is beside himself and buries his head as he quickly exits the stage of the Maury Povich Show. Tony is jubilant. He then looks directly into the camera and exclaims. "And that's how babies are made!" Credits. The End.

GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES: We see FDR. We see JFK. We see Lincoln sitting and watching JFK. We see George W. Bush: "If you don't like what we tell you to believe . . . we'll kill you."

ACT 3
DR. PHIL - I missed much of the Dr. Phil as I was helping to get a new ACT 5 together; something stemming from what happened earlier in the program. From somebody else's notes:
-complains about Yak crap.
-Counseling celebrities
-Photos of, with Dr. Phil offering an opinion on each: - (I returned to the shack right about here)
-Paris Hilton - jail will give her some street cred.
-David Hasselhoff - at this time in the shack, I mentioned I hadn't seen the Hoff video yet. Somebody then quickly put it up on the computer. While Dr. Phil and Dave chatted, I was watching the Hasselfhoff video out of the corner of my eye. Or maybe I was watching the Late Show out of the corner of my eye. And if you haven't seen the Hoff yet, do so now . . . . AFTER you finish reading the Wahoo.
-Paula Abdul
-Richard Simmons.
Dr. Phil's name was involved in some kind of phone scam. 3 Houston-area women were arrested on charges they acted fraudulently by falsely promising people who called a toll-free phone number that they could receive counseling from Dr. Phil or his wife Robin for a certain fee. The caller would receive an hour of counseling over the phone from Dr. Phil for $375. Obviously, these people were ripping off some people in need. What really got Dr. Phil fueled with rage was they were charging an hour of counseling from his wife Robin for $425. His wife was getting a price. Well, those people have been put in jail, or hopefully, about to.
And Dr. Phil has a CBS Primetime Special coming on next week: May 18th at 9:00 on CBS. It's titled, "A Dr. Phil Primetime Special: Caged?" Dr. Phil investigates the accusation of a father who kept his kid inside a cage because he was so hyperactive. Two older brothers of the boy are also on the show; one who says this never happened, the other who swears it did.
To find out more about the Dr. Phil special, check out the CBS website. Oh, wait, never mind, don't. You won't find anything there about the Dr. Phil primetime special that takes place during the all-important sweeps period. I think they're keeping it a secret. Shhhhhh. I think it's one of their odd promotional gimmicks.

ACT 5: Hey, it's the saw-playing gals sitting in with the band!

ACT 6, 7
JACK HANNA: He's the Director Emeritus of the Columbus Zoo and has a new TV series coming up called, "Jack Hanna's Into the Wild." What's Jack got for us tonight?
-flamingoes
-dead mice in Jack's pocket
-a black-throated monitor lizard eats huge amounts of meat - are they endangered? Jack asks his assistant, who says they are threatened, but then quickly changes his claim to, "Oh, no, there's a lot of them." Sounds like he's a "Jack in training."
-owls in the close - we learn why we rarely see owls in a bar
-Jack brought a lot more animals but that's all we had time for. Blame it on the lizard for making a pig of himself.

And that was our show for Thursday, May 10, 2007.



Oh, I finally found a mention of Dr. Phil's primetime special on the CBS website. It was listed like this for the 9:00 PM timeslot on May 18th:
"Dr. Phil Primetime Special: A Caged"
Well, I guess that's something.

I got a call from research during the day. They told me the title of Dr. Phil's special must end in a question mark, "Caged?" It's not certain if the guy accused actually kept his child in a cage.

I tried my hand at making pickled eggs last night. I'll be doing the camping next month with a big group and thought pickled eggs would make for nice treat. I remember eating 'em at an out-of-the-way bar called The Hose Rack in Spring Valley, NY back in the 80s. Pickled eggs were just what you wanted when you had too much to drink and not enough money to eat. Sitting at the bar with nothing to do but stare at that jar of pickled eggs in front of you made your mind think of some odd things . . . . . such as, imagining that hardboiled eggs sitting in pickled juice at room temperature for half-a-year would be good to eat. So I made the pickled eggs so to create conversation at the campsite and to reminisce about those days. You see, I'm not much of a conversationalist and use props whenever I can. The pickled eggs should delight many. . . . . . though I'm concerned that pickled eggs and sleeping in a tent won't mix so well.

The Associated Press is asking the candidates a series of questions about their personal tastes, habits and backgrounds.

Yesterday's question: "What was your last music purchase?"
-Connecticut Sen. Chris Dodd: Soundtrack to 'Jersey Boys."
Now I just don't get this. The Senator chose a soundtrack of a bunch of entertainers from a Broadway musical trying to sound like The 4 Seasons. Why not just get The 4 Seasons? Does that make any sense?

-Delaware Sen. Joe Biden said: "My sister's playlist."
This one bothered me more than Chris Dodd. For a guy who has "plagiarist" on his resume, is it wise for him to say he took his sister's playlist and made it his own?

Have you heard about that billboard in Chicago put up by a law firm with the crass message: "Life's Short. Get A Divorce." Wahoo reader Mike Henderson reminds of a sign as you approach the Lincoln Tunnel in Jersey leading into New York:

"I don't know why, but your comments about the law firm billboard ('Life's Short. Get a divorce') reminded me of the sign that used to be outside the cheesy motel on the approach to the Lincoln Tunnel (was it the York Motel?). It read: 'Love thy neighbor. Here.'"

It's the "Joel Bradbury Two Facts of the Day!"
-Joel is a 56-year member of the Masonic Lodge
-Joel has been a Church Elder for 57 years.
This has been the "Joel Bradbury Two Facts of the Day!"

And now more useless information from "The Book of Useless Information."
-A blind chameleon still changes color to match aits environment
-A chameleon's tongue is twice the length of its body
-A crocodile's tongue is attached to the roof of its mouth
-To escape the grip of a crocodile's jaws, push your thumbs into its eyeballs. It will let you go instantly.
-Lorne Green had one of his nipples bitten off by an alligator while hosting an episode of "Lorne Green's Wild Kingdom"

And so ends another issue of the Wahoo Gazette, the world's longest continuous-running blog on the internet . . . . I think.

"Six two and even, over and out."

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
He turns 60 on Friday, from Eastleigh, England, it's Bob Moynihan looking for a oosik.
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER