DAVETV If you could look at only one thing on the Internet, DaveTV would be the obvious choice. What other so-called "website" lets you watch LATE SHOW Highlights, Comedy Clips, Slideshows, Stupid Trick clips and The Tony Mendez Show?
TOP TEN LIST You know it, you love it, you can't live without it: the revolutionary comedy bit that won Dave the Nobel Peace Prize. Check out the latest Top Ten List here.
TOP TEN ARCHIVES Old Top Ten Lists never die, they just get archived. The Top Ten Archives is searchable by date and keyword. Also, please note that the word "archives" contains the word "chives."
TOP TEN CONTEST So you think you're as funny as Dave's writers? Or maybe you just enjoy wasting time at work? See if you've got the chops to win a great prize in our weekly Top Ten Contest.
TOP TEN SEARCH Search Results.
TOP TEN SEARCH Search Results.
WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Jessica Alba; Julie Chen; and The Whigs. PLUS:A Cold Open; the Late Show Super Bowl Preview; John McCain Interviews Himself; a Hillary Endorsement; Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; a Top Ten List; and “Let’s Talk About the Candidates.”
COLD OPEN:
We see Dave sitting in his dressing room. Nearby is Johnny Dark pretending to be a stage manager. Johnny is studying the show’s rundown. Dave is rambling about popsicles . . . . lime popsicles . . . . . lemon popsicles . . . Dave suddenly realizes the time. DAVE: “Oh my God! The show has started. Why didn’t you tell me?”
Dave runs out. JOHNNY: “What possible difference could it make?” DAVE: pokes his back in the dressing room: “I heard that.”
“ . . . and now, National Football League Offensive Player of the Year . . . . David Letterman!”
ACT 1:
Are you folks excited about the Super Bowl? It’s going to be a tremendous game. It’s time now for the ‘Late Show Super Bowl Preview.’
We see graphics. We hear thrilling football music. We see a Giants helmet. We see a Patriots helmet.
And that’s all we have so far.
And now it’s time for “John McCain Interviews Himself.”
From Sunday’s “Meet the Press.” McCain: “Did I want my tax plan approved when I was running in 2000? Yes.
Would I have had those tax cuts differently? Of course I would have.
Have I always gone along with the Republican Party?
Do I feel strongly about issues?
Did I fight against the appropriators time after time after time when we saw these pork barrel projects? Of course I did.”
Dave throws the blue card out the window. We here the customary window crash, followed by the radio transmission of Lt. Len Easton of the California Highway Patrol.
Dave is not happy with this guy, but is aware that he isn’t the only one being pestered by this CHiP. Dave was watching the area sports talk show, Mike and the Mad Dog, and heard this Easton guy call in to their show. I’m sure the screener got an earful from Mike after the show.
Ted Kennedy came out and endorsed Barack Obama for President, but Hillary fought right back. We take a look at her campaign’s reaction. Announcer: “So Barack Obama got an endorsement from Ted Kennedy? Well, Hillary Clinton is pleased to announce that she has gotten an endorsement from Ted Cassidy. . . . TV’s ‘Lurch.’ (see photo of Lurch from the Addam’s Family) Hillary Clinton --- check mate, bitch.”
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES: Bush: “I’ve just come from a round table . . . or was it a square table? Either way, it was a table.”
I wonder if he got that one off a Dixie Riddle Cup.
ACT 2:
While Dave is talking about possible space travel to Mars, he is interrupted by his cellphone. Uh oh, here we go again. Yup, it’s Lt. Len Easton. Dave has no idea how Easton got his cellphone number.
THINGS YOU DON’T WANT TO HEAR FROM A GUY DRESSED AS A MONSTER
- We sent a guy in a monster costume out on the streets of New York to mingle with the people. #10 (to a fat guy) “Looks like I’m not the only one who ate a whole city.” #9. “Finish up your bucket list, guys; I’m coming back for you in an hour.”
LET’S TALK ABOUT THE CANDIDATES
The run for the Presidency is heating up so we decided to take a microphone into the studio audience and talk about the candidates. Biff finds a seemingly intelligent audience member . . . and you know how hard that can be. The gentleman stands and introduces himself. He says he plans on voting for Senator Barack Obama. Dave responds, “Well, he’ll appreciate that, and the sweater.” I laughed.
Dave continues. He points out that the big story this week was Ohio Congressman Dennis Kucinich suddenly dropped out of the race. That statement brought a moan from a member of the audience. Behind the guy with the lime green sweater is a guy who is greatly disappointed over the Kucinich development. It seems he just learned from Dave that Kucinich had dropped out of the race. The fellow is beside himself. He groans and moans over the news and appears on the verge of an emotional collapse. He continues to voice his utter disappointment and slowly makes his way out of the theater. He approaches a CBS Page and knees him in the groin. He punches out another Page. A third Page enters and throws a punch at the audience guy. The guy ducks the punch and then delivers his own hook. He then throws the Page over the banister. The guy then exits before our non-responding security can respond.
And that’s all the time we have for “Let’s Talk About The Candidates.”
ACT 3: JESSICA ALBA: She’s with child, now in her second trimester. How was the dreaded first trimester? Jessica admits to having the all-day sickness. Dave recalls going through the trimester at home. All hours of the day he had to search for soda crackers. Jessica laughs at what seemed to be a familiar scene in her house, too.
Jessica’s new film, The Eye, is a psychological thriller. Her character gets a cornea transplant and then lives through the accompanied “cellular memories” of the new eye. What her new eye once saw is relived in Jessica.
And in the film, her character was a renowned violinist. Jessica had to learn how to play the instrument. She plays the violin in the film but the music that comes out of it is shushed and the way it is supposed to sound is edited in. Hmmm, too bad she didn’t get a finger transplant from a great violinist and hope for some cellular memory there.
Dave professes to the pregnant Jessica, “As lovely as you were, I think you are even lovelier now.” Ooooh, nice. I wish I thought of that one 12 years ago.
We see a clip from the film, The Eye. It’s a shower scene. Was that really Jessica? No, the body double was a friend of hers. Why not go naked in the film? Jessica says, “I didn’t want to be naked in front of the crew.” Dave laughs a bit and says, “I got over that in about two weeks, right guys?” as he looks out to the crew. The Eye – it opens Friday.
ACT 4:
It’s time to play “Guess the Celebrity Hat!” Rupert will hold up a hat that belongs to a celebrity. The contestant will have to determine to whom the hat belongs. We turn on the camera outside the Hello Deli and we enter.
The deli is empty. Rupert cannot be found. Dave suggests that Rupert probably thinks we are from the Health Department. Dave calls out Rupert’s name so we can start “Guess the Celebrity Hat.” Nothing. And then off camera we hear, “Rupert’s not coming, Dave.”
LATE SHOW writer Bill Scheft enters the shot. BILL SCHEFT: “Hi, I’m Late Show Strike Captain Bill Scheft. Unfortunately, to underscore that the writers strike marches on, you won’t be able to see the rest of this interactive comedy segment. With the strike now in its 13th week, the producers’ intractability continues to deprive John and Jane Q. Citizen of their favorite television programs. Accordingly, you won’t be able to enjoy the sheer brilliance of some moron we yanked off the street identifying Craig T. Nelson’s favorite silly looking golf hat. That is why, tonight, I’m pleased to announce that Rupert Jee’s own Union has joined the Writers Guild of America in our fight. Rupert?”
Rupert enters. RUPERT: “The International Meatworkers Union is with you, Bill.” BILL: “That makes me so happy, Rupe. Together, we’ll get Big Media to stop jerkin’ the little guy around.”
Freeze. Alan announce: “The Writers Guild of America and the International Meatworkers Union. United We Stand.”
ACT 5:
“Hey, everybody, it’s kitties!” We see a bevy of frolicking kitties. Sweet, though not as sweet as that Pepsi kid with the puppies.
ACT 6: JULIE CHEN: The host of the very popular CBS series, “Big Brother,” now in its 9th season. She’s also the anchor of the CBS “The Early Show.”
How much time does Ms. Chen spend in California vs. New York. She says it’s about 60% in New York, 30% in California, and 10% elsewhere. . . . . Probably flying back and forth. Tiring? She says she sometimes gets her best rest on the plane. Hmmm, I imagine her comfort on coast-to-coast trips is different from yours and mine.
So, what happened at the recent Directors Guild Awards? Dave makes her spill the beans. (The story can be found in Tuesday’s newspapers.) Julie describes the very awkward moment when Director Julian Schnabel was making his acceptance speech. He paused here and there looking for the right words to say. From the audience, actress Sean Young shouted, “Get on with it!” This delighted Dave. When the director looked out into the audience, she repeated, “C’mon, get on with it!” Dave laughed and exclaimed we need more of that stuff. Heckling the winners . . . now that’s fun. Sean Young was then escorted out of the place.
My idea holds: The Emmy Awards should include a category for Best Awards Show Moment and Best Awards Show Acceptance Speech. Everyone would try harder.
Big Brother --- now in its 9th season? Is that possible? Yes, it is. The 9th season premieres Tuesday February 12th at 9:00. The show is a voyeur’s dream, peaking in on people in their apartment. Sex? Do the kids ever have sex? Do we get to see them having sex? Sex?
Julie says it has happened in the past but they are aware they are being taped and usually keep the hanky panky under the covers. All you see is movement under the blankets. Dave mutters, “It’s been a long time since I saw the blankets move.”
We see a clip from this season’s Big Brother. Before we see it, I wonder if it is a Shecky clip. We usually don’t show clips from TV. And we see that it is a Shecky clip. It’s black and white footage of a naked woman playing the bongos, or something like that. I wasn’t looking at the instrument.
Julie smiles and warns Dave that he’ll be getting a phone call in the morning.
ACT 7: THE WHIGS: From their new album, “Mission Control,” The Whigs performed “Right Hand On My Heart.” That was a lot of sound from three guys. I’ll be giving their album/CD a listen. Rolling Stone magazine calls them “A fiery, young and timelessly tuneful rock trio” and one of 10 artists to watch.
And that was our show for Monday January 28, 2008.
You know, if Hillary Clinton ran for United States Senator from her home state of Illinois like she should have, she probably wouldn’t be having this problem with the pesky Barack Obama right now.
I think I’ll repeat the above until it’s picked up by the mainstream. I know, I know, you think the Wahoo Gazette IS mainstream, but it ain’t. It hasn’t nearly reached the 100th monkey, yet.
Love him or hate him, Senator Barack Obama’s speech in South Carolina the other night really gets your blooding flowing. Makes you sit up in your chair.
A U.S. spy satellite is falling to earth. Time to dig out all my old Skylab jokes.
And now long before we hear Devo’s “Space Junk” on the radio?
Democratic Response to Bush’s State of the Union Address: Kansas Governor Kathleen Sebelius is a real dynamo, huh?
Tonight’s music, The Whigs, had us hold up an album instead of a CD. That’s been happening a lot lately. Why is that? There is a very small market for albums these days. I don’t know the reason, but I suspect the record companies feel an album better promotes the band and the music. Bigger is better.
The New York Times has come out and endorsed John McCain and Hillary Clinton in their respective parties. I’ve never liked the idea of a newspaper or any news organization coming out with an endorsement. I think it brings their perceived neutrality into question. Sure, I know the endorsement comes from the very tippity top of the New York Times, but if I’m scribbling out a story for the paper, I’ll keep in mind that those at the top will be reading it. News organizations should keep out of the endorsement business.
But I’m sure there are many reasons for them to make their endorsement. I just don’t know the logic behind it. Any members of a newspaper editorial board out there who can educate me? I know that’s quite a tall order, but I’ll try my best to understand.
It’s a good thing nobody watches the New Jersey Nets, because if they had a fan base, nobody would be watching anymore.
It was mine before it was his. I was going to use the following in today’s Wahoo, but then I saw the same joke in one of those political op-ed cartoons. Since he put it out there first, it’s his. But I had it in my head before I saw it in the newspaper.
“How’s this for a coincidence. Giuliani is pulling between 9-11% in the polls.”
Arrrrggghhhh! Last Thursday I wrote that former baseball player Sixto Lezcano would approach home plate holding the barrel of his bat. He would then flick the nub of the bat against home plate and bounce the bat 180 degrees, catching the bat by the handle. He would then prepare to bat. DOHHHH!
Minutes after I sent in Thursday’s Wahoo to the LATE SHOW website, I received my first e-mail mentioning that Tito Fuentes did the same thing. Uh oh. I immediately tried my best to convince myself that Sixto Lezcano did it . . . but the more I thought about it, the more I realized it was only Tito Fuentes who did it. Sixto Lezcano didn’t do the little bat trick at all. I was wrong. Not Sixto . . . Tito! It was Tito Fuentes. I was wrong. There goes my perfect record. I guess I could have quickly pulled the Wahoo from the site and fixed it, but I know how much joy you all get when you catch me in a lazy goof.
Congratulations to Scott Novak of Jackson, Mississippi for being the first to suggest it was Tito Fuentes.
Remember when TV newspeople wouldn’t put anything out over the air until they were sure they had the correct information? I’m watching the FOX News on Friday about the Vegas fire and Shepard Smith starts a statement with, “Don’t quote me on this . . . .”
Huh? “Don’t quote me”? But you’re the news! You’re supposed to know. That’s why we watch you. “Don’t quote me on this . . . .” That’s acceptable? If you don’t know, then don’t say it. TV news has become just like the Wahoo Gazette. We worry about accuracy later.
Sad news: a local buddy of mine, Phil Diffley, passed away this weekend of Lou Gehrig’s disease. I knew Phil and his family while growing up in New City, New York, and then I became reacquainted with Phil in college. Phil was a few years younger than me and I sort of looked out for him when he was a freshman at SUNY Cortland. I soon found out he needed no looking out for. Everyone wanted to be around Phil He made the nationally ranked Division 3 Cortland soccer team as a freshman and after college he continued to play and coached many youth soccer teams.
Written in a recent posting on a website:
“Diffley, who played in the United Soccer Leagues with the New Jersey Stallions, is the head coach of the Clarkstown Soccer Club boys' team. The father of five was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's disease in 2005. The diagnosis forced him to retire as a construction contractor, but he never gave up coaching. He uses a wheelchair and communicates with the help of a vocal machine, but he still makes the calls for his club alongside Assistant Coach John Magner.”
Phil Diffley. He leaves a wife and 5 children, and many many friends. A good man, Phil.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From New Albany, Indiana, it’s Jason Barry.
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
Jessica Alba; Julie Chen; and The Whigs. PLUS:A Cold Open; the Late Show Super Bowl Preview; John McCain Interviews Himself; a Hillary Endorsement; Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; a Top Ten List; and “Let’s Talk About the Candidates.”
COLD OPEN:
We see Dave sitting in his dressing room. Nearby is Johnny Dark pretending to be a stage manager. Johnny is studying the show’s rundown. Dave is rambling about popsicles . . . . lime popsicles . . . . . lemon popsicles . . . Dave suddenly realizes the time. DAVE: “Oh my God! The show has started. Why didn’t you tell me?”
Dave runs out. JOHNNY: “What possible difference could it make?” DAVE: pokes his back in the dressing room: “I heard that.”
“ . . . and now, National Football League Offensive Player of the Year . . . . David Letterman!”
ACT 1:
Are you folks excited about the Super Bowl? It’s going to be a tremendous game. It’s time now for the ‘Late Show Super Bowl Preview.’
We see graphics. We hear thrilling football music. We see a Giants helmet. We see a Patriots helmet.
And that’s all we have so far.
And now it’s time for “John McCain Interviews Himself.”
From Sunday’s “Meet the Press.” McCain: “Did I want my tax plan approved when I was running in 2000? Yes.
Would I have had those tax cuts differently? Of course I would have.
Have I always gone along with the Republican Party?
Do I feel strongly about issues?
Did I fight against the appropriators time after time after time when we saw these pork barrel projects? Of course I did.”
Dave throws the blue card out the window. We here the customary window crash, followed by the radio transmission of Lt. Len Easton of the California Highway Patrol.
Dave is not happy with this guy, but is aware that he isn’t the only one being pestered by this CHiP. Dave was watching the area sports talk show, Mike and the Mad Dog, and heard this Easton guy call in to their show. I’m sure the screener got an earful from Mike after the show.
Ted Kennedy came out and endorsed Barack Obama for President, but Hillary fought right back. We take a look at her campaign’s reaction. Announcer: “So Barack Obama got an endorsement from Ted Kennedy? Well, Hillary Clinton is pleased to announce that she has gotten an endorsement from Ted Cassidy. . . . TV’s ‘Lurch.’ (see photo of Lurch from the Addam’s Family) Hillary Clinton --- check mate, bitch.”
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES: Bush: “I’ve just come from a round table . . . or was it a square table? Either way, it was a table.”
I wonder if he got that one off a Dixie Riddle Cup.
ACT 2:
While Dave is talking about possible space travel to Mars, he is interrupted by his cellphone. Uh oh, here we go again. Yup, it’s Lt. Len Easton. Dave has no idea how Easton got his cellphone number.
THINGS YOU DON’T WANT TO HEAR FROM A GUY DRESSED AS A MONSTER
- We sent a guy in a monster costume out on the streets of New York to mingle with the people. #10 (to a fat guy) “Looks like I’m not the only one who ate a whole city.” #9. “Finish up your bucket list, guys; I’m coming back for you in an hour.”
LET’S TALK ABOUT THE CANDIDATES
The run for the Presidency is heating up so we decided to take a microphone into the studio audience and talk about the candidates. Biff finds a seemingly intelligent audience member . . . and you know how hard that can be. The gentleman stands and introduces himself. He says he plans on voting for Senator Barack Obama. Dave responds, “Well, he’ll appreciate that, and the sweater.” I laughed.
Dave continues. He points out that the big story this week was Ohio Congressman Dennis Kucinich suddenly dropped out of the race. That statement brought a moan from a member of the audience. Behind the guy with the lime green sweater is a guy who is greatly disappointed over the Kucinich development. It seems he just learned from Dave that Kucinich had dropped out of the race. The fellow is beside himself. He groans and moans over the news and appears on the verge of an emotional collapse. He continues to voice his utter disappointment and slowly makes his way out of the theater. He approaches a CBS Page and knees him in the groin. He punches out another Page. A third Page enters and throws a punch at the audience guy. The guy ducks the punch and then delivers his own hook. He then throws the Page over the banister. The guy then exits before our non-responding security can respond.
And that’s all the time we have for “Let’s Talk About The Candidates.”
ACT 3: JESSICA ALBA: She’s with child, now in her second trimester. How was the dreaded first trimester? Jessica admits to having the all-day sickness. Dave recalls going through the trimester at home. All hours of the day he had to search for soda crackers. Jessica laughs at what seemed to be a familiar scene in her house, too.
Jessica’s new film, The Eye, is a psychological thriller. Her character gets a cornea transplant and then lives through the accompanied “cellular memories” of the new eye. What her new eye once saw is relived in Jessica.
And in the film, her character was a renowned violinist. Jessica had to learn how to play the instrument. She plays the violin in the film but the music that comes out of it is shushed and the way it is supposed to sound is edited in. Hmmm, too bad she didn’t get a finger transplant from a great violinist and hope for some cellular memory there.
Dave professes to the pregnant Jessica, “As lovely as you were, I think you are even lovelier now.” Ooooh, nice. I wish I thought of that one 12 years ago.
We see a clip from the film, The Eye. It’s a shower scene. Was that really Jessica? No, the body double was a friend of hers. Why not go naked in the film? Jessica says, “I didn’t want to be naked in front of the crew.” Dave laughs a bit and says, “I got over that in about two weeks, right guys?” as he looks out to the crew. The Eye – it opens Friday.
ACT 4:
It’s time to play “Guess the Celebrity Hat!” Rupert will hold up a hat that belongs to a celebrity. The contestant will have to determine to whom the hat belongs. We turn on the camera outside the Hello Deli and we enter.
The deli is empty. Rupert cannot be found. Dave suggests that Rupert probably thinks we are from the Health Department. Dave calls out Rupert’s name so we can start “Guess the Celebrity Hat.” Nothing. And then off camera we hear, “Rupert’s not coming, Dave.”
LATE SHOW writer Bill Scheft enters the shot. BILL SCHEFT: “Hi, I’m Late Show Strike Captain Bill Scheft. Unfortunately, to underscore that the writers strike marches on, you won’t be able to see the rest of this interactive comedy segment. With the strike now in its 13th week, the producers’ intractability continues to deprive John and Jane Q. Citizen of their favorite television programs. Accordingly, you won’t be able to enjoy the sheer brilliance of some moron we yanked off the street identifying Craig T. Nelson’s favorite silly looking golf hat. That is why, tonight, I’m pleased to announce that Rupert Jee’s own Union has joined the Writers Guild of America in our fight. Rupert?”
Rupert enters. RUPERT: “The International Meatworkers Union is with you, Bill.” BILL: “That makes me so happy, Rupe. Together, we’ll get Big Media to stop jerkin’ the little guy around.”
Freeze. Alan announce: “The Writers Guild of America and the International Meatworkers Union. United We Stand.”
ACT 5:
“Hey, everybody, it’s kitties!” We see a bevy of frolicking kitties. Sweet, though not as sweet as that Pepsi kid with the puppies.
ACT 6: JULIE CHEN: The host of the very popular CBS series, “Big Brother,” now in its 9th season. She’s also the anchor of the CBS “The Early Show.”
How much time does Ms. Chen spend in California vs. New York. She says it’s about 60% in New York, 30% in California, and 10% elsewhere. . . . . Probably flying back and forth. Tiring? She says she sometimes gets her best rest on the plane. Hmmm, I imagine her comfort on coast-to-coast trips is different from yours and mine.
So, what happened at the recent Directors Guild Awards? Dave makes her spill the beans. (The story can be found in Tuesday’s newspapers.) Julie describes the very awkward moment when Director Julian Schnabel was making his acceptance speech. He paused here and there looking for the right words to say. From the audience, actress Sean Young shouted, “Get on with it!” This delighted Dave. When the director looked out into the audience, she repeated, “C’mon, get on with it!” Dave laughed and exclaimed we need more of that stuff. Heckling the winners . . . now that’s fun. Sean Young was then escorted out of the place.
My idea holds: The Emmy Awards should include a category for Best Awards Show Moment and Best Awards Show Acceptance Speech. Everyone would try harder.
Big Brother --- now in its 9th season? Is that possible? Yes, it is. The 9th season premieres Tuesday February 12th at 9:00. The show is a voyeur’s dream, peaking in on people in their apartment. Sex? Do the kids ever have sex? Do we get to see them having sex? Sex?
Julie says it has happened in the past but they are aware they are being taped and usually keep the hanky panky under the covers. All you see is movement under the blankets. Dave mutters, “It’s been a long time since I saw the blankets move.”
We see a clip from this season’s Big Brother. Before we see it, I wonder if it is a Shecky clip. We usually don’t show clips from TV. And we see that it is a Shecky clip. It’s black and white footage of a naked woman playing the bongos, or something like that. I wasn’t looking at the instrument.
Julie smiles and warns Dave that he’ll be getting a phone call in the morning.
ACT 7: THE WHIGS: From their new album, “Mission Control,” The Whigs performed “Right Hand On My Heart.” That was a lot of sound from three guys. I’ll be giving their album/CD a listen. Rolling Stone magazine calls them “A fiery, young and timelessly tuneful rock trio” and one of 10 artists to watch.
And that was our show for Monday January 28, 2008.
You know, if Hillary Clinton ran for United States Senator from her home state of Illinois like she should have, she probably wouldn’t be having this problem with the pesky Barack Obama right now.
I think I’ll repeat the above until it’s picked up by the mainstream. I know, I know, you think the Wahoo Gazette IS mainstream, but it ain’t. It hasn’t nearly reached the 100th monkey, yet.
Love him or hate him, Senator Barack Obama’s speech in South Carolina the other night really gets your blooding flowing. Makes you sit up in your chair.
A U.S. spy satellite is falling to earth. Time to dig out all my old Skylab jokes.
And now long before we hear Devo’s “Space Junk” on the radio?
Democratic Response to Bush’s State of the Union Address: Kansas Governor Kathleen Sebelius is a real dynamo, huh?
Tonight’s music, The Whigs, had us hold up an album instead of a CD. That’s been happening a lot lately. Why is that? There is a very small market for albums these days. I don’t know the reason, but I suspect the record companies feel an album better promotes the band and the music. Bigger is better.
The New York Times has come out and endorsed John McCain and Hillary Clinton in their respective parties. I’ve never liked the idea of a newspaper or any news organization coming out with an endorsement. I think it brings their perceived neutrality into question. Sure, I know the endorsement comes from the very tippity top of the New York Times, but if I’m scribbling out a story for the paper, I’ll keep in mind that those at the top will be reading it. News organizations should keep out of the endorsement business.
But I’m sure there are many reasons for them to make their endorsement. I just don’t know the logic behind it. Any members of a newspaper editorial board out there who can educate me? I know that’s quite a tall order, but I’ll try my best to understand.
It’s a good thing nobody watches the New Jersey Nets, because if they had a fan base, nobody would be watching anymore.
It was mine before it was his. I was going to use the following in today’s Wahoo, but then I saw the same joke in one of those political op-ed cartoons. Since he put it out there first, it’s his. But I had it in my head before I saw it in the newspaper.
“How’s this for a coincidence. Giuliani is pulling between 9-11% in the polls.”
Arrrrggghhhh! Last Thursday I wrote that former baseball player Sixto Lezcano would approach home plate holding the barrel of his bat. He would then flick the nub of the bat against home plate and bounce the bat 180 degrees, catching the bat by the handle. He would then prepare to bat. DOHHHH!
Minutes after I sent in Thursday’s Wahoo to the LATE SHOW website, I received my first e-mail mentioning that Tito Fuentes did the same thing. Uh oh. I immediately tried my best to convince myself that Sixto Lezcano did it . . . but the more I thought about it, the more I realized it was only Tito Fuentes who did it. Sixto Lezcano didn’t do the little bat trick at all. I was wrong. Not Sixto . . . Tito! It was Tito Fuentes. I was wrong. There goes my perfect record. I guess I could have quickly pulled the Wahoo from the site and fixed it, but I know how much joy you all get when you catch me in a lazy goof.
Congratulations to Scott Novak of Jackson, Mississippi for being the first to suggest it was Tito Fuentes.
Remember when TV newspeople wouldn’t put anything out over the air until they were sure they had the correct information? I’m watching the FOX News on Friday about the Vegas fire and Shepard Smith starts a statement with, “Don’t quote me on this . . . .”
Huh? “Don’t quote me”? But you’re the news! You’re supposed to know. That’s why we watch you. “Don’t quote me on this . . . .” That’s acceptable? If you don’t know, then don’t say it. TV news has become just like the Wahoo Gazette. We worry about accuracy later.
Sad news: a local buddy of mine, Phil Diffley, passed away this weekend of Lou Gehrig’s disease. I knew Phil and his family while growing up in New City, New York, and then I became reacquainted with Phil in college. Phil was a few years younger than me and I sort of looked out for him when he was a freshman at SUNY Cortland. I soon found out he needed no looking out for. Everyone wanted to be around Phil He made the nationally ranked Division 3 Cortland soccer team as a freshman and after college he continued to play and coached many youth soccer teams.
Written in a recent posting on a website:
“Diffley, who played in the United Soccer Leagues with the New Jersey Stallions, is the head coach of the Clarkstown Soccer Club boys' team. The father of five was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's disease in 2005. The diagnosis forced him to retire as a construction contractor, but he never gave up coaching. He uses a wheelchair and communicates with the help of a vocal machine, but he still makes the calls for his club alongside Assistant Coach John Magner.”
Phil Diffley. He leaves a wife and 5 children, and many many friends. A good man, Phil.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From New Albany, Indiana, it’s Jason Barry.
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
ACT 1 • Show Open • Dave's Monologue Watch now • LATE SHOW Super Bowl Preview • John McCain Interviews Himself • Len Easton Phone Call • Hillary Gets Ted Cassidy Endoresement • Great Moments in Presidential Speeches • Len Easton Phone Call
ACT 2 • Len Easton Phone Call • Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear From a a Guy Dressed as a Monster Read now
