DAVETV If you could look at only one thing on the Internet, DaveTV would be the obvious choice. What other so-called "website" lets you watch LATE SHOW Highlights, Comedy Clips, Slideshows, Stupid Trick clips and The Tony Mendez Show?
TOP TEN LIST You know it, you love it, you can't live without it: the revolutionary comedy bit that won Dave the Nobel Peace Prize. Check out the latest Top Ten List here.
TOP TEN ARCHIVES Old Top Ten Lists never die, they just get archived. The Top Ten Archives is searchable by date and keyword. Also, please note that the word "archives" contains the word "chives."
TOP TEN CONTEST So you think you're as funny as Dave's writers? Or maybe you just enjoy wasting time at work? See if you've got the chops to win a great prize in our weekly Top Ten Contest.
TOP TEN SEARCH Search Results.
TOP TEN SEARCH Search Results.
WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Lance Armstrong; Kristen Wiig; and TV on the Radio. PLUS:Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; a Presidential Sarah Palin; Late Show Tips for Green Living; What People are Saying About the Late Show Fun Facts Book; and a Top Ten Read by Someone in the Audience.
" . . . . and now, irritated flight attendant . . . . . David Letterman!"
ACT 1:
Following the monologue, we have: GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES
It's one of the more unenviable chores of a President, pretending to be interested in a woman's problem with her TV. Bush's response, Interesting, isn't it? Woof." Really, now, did this woman think her qualm was worthy of the President's time? Yeesh.
ACT 2:
During the pre-show Q&A, a guy in the audience from New Jersey offered to give Dave $13.20 if he would allow him to read tonight's Top Ten list, no strings attached. Dave considers the offer from the guy, Joe Massamilla, but won't allow it for less than $20.
The deal is under consideration. No one is quite sure how this will go. I suggested we open the offer to auction to the entire audience. I was hoping for 10% of the final auction price for the idea.
Critics are questioning whether Sarah Palin has enough experience to be our next Vice President, but judging from this piece of video, she might even be qualified to be President.
We see footage of George W. Bush mispronouncing "nuclear" as "nucular."
We see footage of Sarah Palin mispronouncing "nuclear" as "nucular."
And now it's time for something we call, "Late Show Tips for Green Living" with Chris Elliott and Gerard Mulligan.
To save water, take a bath in the sink. To save money, take a bath in the sink at work.
LATE SHOW FUN FACTS: Now in book form! Soon to be a major motion picture? The Late Show Fun Facts book is flying off the shelves like Hummels in a California earthquake.
What is being said about the "Late Show Fun Facts" book
- "Absolutely dreadful" -- Simon Cowell
- "I couldn't stop reading even though I had a broken leg" -- Tiger Woods
- "I enjoy reading it on Saturday nights when I'm home alone" -- Condoleezza Rice
- "I did not knowingly read the ‘Fun Facts' book" -- Barry Bonds
- "This ‘djoy' ain't funny." -- Martha Stewart
- "The next Bible?" -- Pope Benedict XVI ACT 3: TOP TEN: Surprises In The Presidential Debate -- IT'S ON! The Top Ten blue card is delivered out to Joe Massamilla in the audience, but not before he hands over a 20 dollar bill. Joe does a nice job with the list. And we put on in especially for him.
#2. They picked some dumb guy out of the audience from New Jersey to read a Top Ten list.
ACT 4: LANCE ARMSTRONG: The 7-time Tour de France champion is planning a comeback after a 4-year absence. He participated in a Mountain Bike race in July and that got his competitive juices flowing again. He started working out, riding a lot, and thought a comeback could be kind of fun. And he saw it as a way to gain attention for his foundation's fight against cancer on a global scale. Wherever he raced around the world, there would be a news story about it. His battle against cancer and his foundation would become known worldwide. www.lancearmstrong.com www.livestrong.org
Lance says the publicity for his foundation would be more important than winning or losing a bike race. But of course, he would like to win the 2009 Tour which would make him the oldest to ever win the race. And if he wins at the age of 37, the suspicions will grow even larger that Lance must be doping, taking something, in order to achieve such dominance. To confront those not-so-silent accusations, Lance has hired somebody from outside his team to oversee all his testing; blood, urine, everything. He's hired the foremost anti-doping crusader in the world to conduct the drug tests. Lance will be out and open the whole way on this. There should be no question that he is clean.
ACT 5: Announce: "Monday on the Late Show, Dave welcomes Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Michael Cera, and musical guest Pete Seeger.
The Late Show! Home of the World Champion Detroit Red Wings.
We'll be right back."
ACT 6: KRISTEN WIIG
She's one of the stars on "Saturday Night Live," and she is currently in her 4th season with the show.
Kristen grew up in Rochester, New York. From my years in an upstate New York college, when I hear "Rochester" I think "Kodak." I don't know if that's because Kodak is huge in Rochester or if the one guy in college I knew from Rochester once worked at a Kodak store. But in this day of Google, there is no longer a need to guess. Kodak's corporate headquarters is in Rochester. Unfortunately, I don't think Kodak is as strong as it once was.
Kristen was actually born in Canandaigua. Again, from my years upstate, I blurted out "Finger Lakes." Canandaigua is one of the Finger Lakes, though I'm not sure which finger.
And from there, she moved to Lancaster, Pennsylvania. From my recent trip to Hershey Park, I was able to blurt with confidence, "Amish Country!" After dating guys named Ben and Ebb, she then moved back to Rochester for her high school years and then studied art at the University of Arizona.
After spending a couple minutes working at a plastic surgeon's office creating "after" pictures for possible patients, she decided what she really wanted to do was act, so off to L.A. she went to live in a barren empty apartment on, coincidentally, Rochester Avenue. One thing led to another, and now she's on "Saturday Night Live."
"One thing led to another" is a great time saver. It cuts out so much writing and typing and work.
ACT 7:
Announce, returning from commercial break: "The Hello Deli concert series is sponsored by Explod-O-Pop atomic popping corn. It's Carb-O-Licious!"
TV ON THE RADIO: Hey, they're out on our fire escape on 53rd Street. From their new album, "Dear Science," TV on the Radio performed "Dancing Choose."
And that was our show for Friday September 26, 2008.
I don't hate the Mets. A lot of my friends are Met fans, so for them I root for the Metsies. But when the Mets lose, boy, it makes for some great overnight sports radio talk.
I'm not saying the network news is biased, but at the end of every broadcast do we have to hear, "I'm Barack Obama and I approve this message."
Want to fill your weekend? Go to Google News and type in "Letterman" and "McCain." And then read the comments based on all those articles. It's a big "Yikes!" How can so many get it so wrong?
They've been showing a lot of Yankee Stadium highlights on TV this week in New York. Here are three things that stand out:
1. Baltimore Colts defeat the New York Giants in overtime in the NFL championship game: 1958
2. Don Larsen pitches a perfect game in the World Series vs. the Brooklyn Dodgers: 1956.
3. Roger Maris hits his 61st homerun to break Babe Ruth's record for homeruns in a season: 1961.
Why do these 3 events stand out?
The Colts win the championship in overtime. The reaction of the winning players was very matter-of-fact, day on the job, job well done.
Don Larsen strikes out the final batter to achieve the perfect game. He reacts by jogging to the dugout. It could have been the 3rd inning in May.
Roger Maris hits his 61st homerun. He had to be pushed out of the dugout back onto the field to take a curtain call. He was embarrassed by the attention.
Jump ahead 50 years to today. How would today's players react to such achievements? I liked life better when it was in black and white. Today's displays of enthusiasm I classify as "Look At Me, Everybody" . . . . or simply, L.A.M.E.
I have nothing else. This weekend I'll be looking for Ralph Nader on the TV. I'm curious to hear what he has to say about the Republicans, the Democrats, and the Big Money
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Moorsetown, New Jersey, it's Tom Kastan
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Lance Armstrong; Kristen Wiig; and TV on the Radio. PLUS:Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; a Presidential Sarah Palin; Late Show Tips for Green Living; What People are Saying About the Late Show Fun Facts Book; and a Top Ten Read by Someone in the Audience.
" . . . . and now, irritated flight attendant . . . . . David Letterman!"
ACT 1:
Following the monologue, we have: GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES
It's one of the more unenviable chores of a President, pretending to be interested in a woman's problem with her TV. Bush's response, Interesting, isn't it? Woof." Really, now, did this woman think her qualm was worthy of the President's time? Yeesh.
ACT 2:
During the pre-show Q&A, a guy in the audience from New Jersey offered to give Dave $13.20 if he would allow him to read tonight's Top Ten list, no strings attached. Dave considers the offer from the guy, Joe Massamilla, but won't allow it for less than $20.
The deal is under consideration. No one is quite sure how this will go. I suggested we open the offer to auction to the entire audience. I was hoping for 10% of the final auction price for the idea.
Critics are questioning whether Sarah Palin has enough experience to be our next Vice President, but judging from this piece of video, she might even be qualified to be President.
We see footage of George W. Bush mispronouncing "nuclear" as "nucular."
We see footage of Sarah Palin mispronouncing "nuclear" as "nucular."
And now it's time for something we call, "Late Show Tips for Green Living" with Chris Elliott and Gerard Mulligan.
To save water, take a bath in the sink. To save money, take a bath in the sink at work.
LATE SHOW FUN FACTS: Now in book form! Soon to be a major motion picture? The Late Show Fun Facts book is flying off the shelves like Hummels in a California earthquake.
What is being said about the "Late Show Fun Facts" book
- "Absolutely dreadful" -- Simon Cowell
- "I couldn't stop reading even though I had a broken leg" -- Tiger Woods
- "I enjoy reading it on Saturday nights when I'm home alone" -- Condoleezza Rice
- "I did not knowingly read the ‘Fun Facts' book" -- Barry Bonds
- "This ‘djoy' ain't funny." -- Martha Stewart
- "The next Bible?" -- Pope Benedict XVI ACT 3: TOP TEN: Surprises In The Presidential Debate -- IT'S ON! The Top Ten blue card is delivered out to Joe Massamilla in the audience, but not before he hands over a 20 dollar bill. Joe does a nice job with the list. And we put on in especially for him.
#2. They picked some dumb guy out of the audience from New Jersey to read a Top Ten list.
ACT 4: LANCE ARMSTRONG: The 7-time Tour de France champion is planning a comeback after a 4-year absence. He participated in a Mountain Bike race in July and that got his competitive juices flowing again. He started working out, riding a lot, and thought a comeback could be kind of fun. And he saw it as a way to gain attention for his foundation's fight against cancer on a global scale. Wherever he raced around the world, there would be a news story about it. His battle against cancer and his foundation would become known worldwide. www.lancearmstrong.com www.livestrong.org
Lance says the publicity for his foundation would be more important than winning or losing a bike race. But of course, he would like to win the 2009 Tour which would make him the oldest to ever win the race. And if he wins at the age of 37, the suspicions will grow even larger that Lance must be doping, taking something, in order to achieve such dominance. To confront those not-so-silent accusations, Lance has hired somebody from outside his team to oversee all his testing; blood, urine, everything. He's hired the foremost anti-doping crusader in the world to conduct the drug tests. Lance will be out and open the whole way on this. There should be no question that he is clean.
ACT 5: Announce: "Monday on the Late Show, Dave welcomes Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Michael Cera, and musical guest Pete Seeger.
The Late Show! Home of the World Champion Detroit Red Wings.
We'll be right back."
ACT 6: KRISTEN WIIG
She's one of the stars on "Saturday Night Live," and she is currently in her 4th season with the show.
Kristen grew up in Rochester, New York. From my years in an upstate New York college, when I hear "Rochester" I think "Kodak." I don't know if that's because Kodak is huge in Rochester or if the one guy in college I knew from Rochester once worked at a Kodak store. But in this day of Google, there is no longer a need to guess. Kodak's corporate headquarters is in Rochester. Unfortunately, I don't think Kodak is as strong as it once was.
Kristen was actually born in Canandaigua. Again, from my years upstate, I blurted out "Finger Lakes." Canandaigua is one of the Finger Lakes, though I'm not sure which finger.
And from there, she moved to Lancaster, Pennsylvania. From my recent trip to Hershey Park, I was able to blurt with confidence, "Amish Country!" After dating guys named Ben and Ebb, she then moved back to Rochester for her high school years and then studied art at the University of Arizona.
After spending a couple minutes working at a plastic surgeon's office creating "after" pictures for possible patients, she decided what she really wanted to do was act, so off to L.A. she went to live in a barren empty apartment on, coincidentally, Rochester Avenue. One thing led to another, and now she's on "Saturday Night Live."
"One thing led to another" is a great time saver. It cuts out so much writing and typing and work.
ACT 7:
Announce, returning from commercial break: "The Hello Deli concert series is sponsored by Explod-O-Pop atomic popping corn. It's Carb-O-Licious!"
TV ON THE RADIO: Hey, they're out on our fire escape on 53rd Street. From their new album, "Dear Science," TV on the Radio performed "Dancing Choose."
And that was our show for Friday September 26, 2008.
I don't hate the Mets. A lot of my friends are Met fans, so for them I root for the Metsies. But when the Mets lose, boy, it makes for some great overnight sports radio talk.
I'm not saying the network news is biased, but at the end of every broadcast do we have to hear, "I'm Barack Obama and I approve this message."
Want to fill your weekend? Go to Google News and type in "Letterman" and "McCain." And then read the comments based on all those articles. It's a big "Yikes!" How can so many get it so wrong?
They've been showing a lot of Yankee Stadium highlights on TV this week in New York. Here are three things that stand out:
1. Baltimore Colts defeat the New York Giants in overtime in the NFL championship game: 1958
2. Don Larsen pitches a perfect game in the World Series vs. the Brooklyn Dodgers: 1956.
3. Roger Maris hits his 61st homerun to break Babe Ruth's record for homeruns in a season: 1961.
Why do these 3 events stand out?
The Colts win the championship in overtime. The reaction of the winning players was very matter-of-fact, day on the job, job well done.
Don Larsen strikes out the final batter to achieve the perfect game. He reacts by jogging to the dugout. It could have been the 3rd inning in May.
Roger Maris hits his 61st homerun. He had to be pushed out of the dugout back onto the field to take a curtain call. He was embarrassed by the attention.
Jump ahead 50 years to today. How would today's players react to such achievements? I liked life better when it was in black and white. Today's displays of enthusiasm I classify as "Look At Me, Everybody" . . . . or simply, L.A.M.E.
I have nothing else. This weekend I'll be looking for Ralph Nader on the TV. I'm curious to hear what he has to say about the Republicans, the Democrats, and the Big Money
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Moorsetown, New Jersey, it's Tom Kastan
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
