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WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Anne Hathaway; Josette Sheeran; and The Virgins.
PLUS: Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; the Late Show Fun Facts Book; a "Hannity and Colmes" FOX News Promo; 2008 Candidate Spotlight; George W. Bush How'd He Do; and a Top Ten List.
" . . . and now, forefather of molecular gastronomy . . . . . David Letterman!"
ACT 1:
Monologue joke: Happy Rosh Hashanah. It's year 5679 on the Jewish calendar. And I'm still writing 5678 on my checks." Hey-Ohhh! Fanfare from Paul. If's a joke Dave's been telling for years and years.
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES
We find the President on stage in a chat with a woman. After the woman answers where she works, he retorts, "What does that mean? You sell lamps?"
ACT 2:
Dave, directly to the camera, "Let me tell you something, ladies and gentlemen, you're looking at a guy torn between duty and desire."
Dave explains that there are many many problems in the world. All you have to do is ready the daily papers. Often times we just sigh and wonder what we can do. Later in the show, we will have someone who is doing something about it. It's the Executive Director of the United Nations World Food Programme, Josette Sheeran. She'll explain what is being done to end world hunger.
And if it's your funny bone that is hungry, then you should think about purchasing the "Late Show Fun Facts" book, now a member of Oprah's Book Club.
As a public service, we thought we'd give voters a more intimate look at the 2008 presidential candidates. In this installment, we featured the Republican nominee, Senator John McCain.
We find McCain sitting at a desk. Looking directly into the camera, the Senator states, "I use Canadian quarters to buy Twix bars in Senate vending machines. What are you gonna do about it?"
All of the cable news networks are heavily promoting their election coverage. Earlier today, Dave saw this commercial for FOX News. We take a look. Announce: "FOX News is America's election headquarters. Fair. Balanced. With the clear, concise commentary you've come to expect from FOX News."
We see a clip from "Hannity and Colmes." Speaking all at once: Sean Hannity, Alan B. Colmes, Karl Rove, and Howard Wolfson. This continues for a good 30 seconds. In the middle of all this, a question is posed to U.N. Ambassador John Bolton via satellite. After a beat, Bolton can only say, "I'm sorry, I didn't hear the question."
With his two terms coming to a close, we're learning that President Bush has begun reflecting on his legacy. That's why we thought it would be interesting to look back at his convention speeches from 2000 and 2004 and compare it to what we know now.
We watch the clip filled with BUZZes signaling the President's promises that didn't quite pan out. My favorite part was watching the 2000 President slightly squint his eyes to show he really means business, like a 3rd grader full of bluster. It convinced enough of us to vote him in twice.
ACT 3: TOP TEN: Signs Your Bank Is In Trouble 7. Was a Savings & Loan; now a Savings & Loan & Chicken Shack 2. When you ask where your money is, they say in an adorable Alaska accent, "I'll try to find it and I'll bring it to ya!"
ANNE HATHAWAY: I know her from the Ella Enchanted and The Princess Diaries. My girls have seen those movies about a hundred times each. Happily, she gets the guy at the end.
Anne is proud to report that she's given up smoking. She admits to being a "secret smoker" for awhile now but has now decided to come out in the open and announce she's quit. And she's going through other changes as well. She's stopped drinking, stopped eating meat and fish and stopped having fun. She's not a complete Vegan, though, since she still wears leather and eats cheese. Well, there's your fun right there; wearing leather and eating cheese.
I once considered becoming a vegetarian but meat is so darn delicious!
Dave treads on delicate territory when he brings up the subject of Anne's very public breakup with her boyfriend. She dated this guy for 4 years. Soon following the breakup, this real estate developer was arrested on charges he scammed a number of investors out of $6 million. He claimed he had ties to the Vatican and he was in charge of its financial affairs. Ohhhh, talk about bad Karma. All this went on unbeknownst to her. Did she ever notice stuff missing from her purse? No.
And since that time, she's been "attached" to many new men in her life, at least that's what the tabloids are reporting. Anne says none of that is true. A hot Australian? Nope. Brody Jenner? Who? No. She talks to her friends at least 20 times a day, yet they are the ones badgering her with questions about what they read in the Nagazines.
Nagazines! Hey, I just made that up. I like it. I think I'll get that trademarked or copyrighted, that is, if I knew how. Nagazines ™.
Anne is a bit annoyed at her friends. If any of that were true about the Australian or Brody Jenner (who?), she would have told them long ago.
Anne's new film, Rachel Getting Married opens this Friday in selected cities. It has gotten rave reviews at film festivals in Toronto and Venice. Hopefully, your city has been selected.
ACT 5: Announce: "Tomorrow on the Late Show, Dave welcomes Kate Walsh, Barry Sonnenfeld, and musical guest Darius Rucker.
The Late Show: Oh, it's on, people!
We'll be right back."
ACT 6: JOSETTE SHEERAN
She's the Executive Director of the United Nations World Food Programme, which provides nourishment to 90 million people around the world. Josette sums up the program: "Our goal is to put hunger out of business."
The World Food Programme (WFP) was founded in 1963 and is the world's largest humanitarian agency. Those who work for the WFP are true heroes. When you think "United Nations" you probably think of those in a suit and tie doing a lot of talking at the U.N. But those of the WFP risk their lives to see that victims of famine, drought, floods, earthquakes, rebels, corrupt governments, and war are fed. Currently, there are 48 drivers of the WFP missing in action.
But fighting world hunger seems like such a huge undertaking. It is, but we have the resources and people to "put it out of business." It's just that the wrong people have to get out of the way and let the right people in.
Josette shows a simple cup to illustrate what the WFP does. This red cup she is holding up is used at school feeding centers. It costs 25 cents to fill a cup so the child can have a meal at school. The porridge is fortified with de-worming tablets and Vitamin A to fight night-blindness. $50 will fill the cup for a year and change a child's life.
One success story of the Red Cup comes from NYC marathon winner, Paul Tergat of Kenya. At the age of 8 he would regularly collapse on his way to school from lack of nourishment. The WFP came to his community and started providing the cup of food. He doubts he would have survived without that daily nourishment. And now Paul Tergat is a NYC Marathon champion who has ran across the stage of the Ed Sullivan Theater.
What would it take to end world hunger? Senator George McGovern priced it out to $3 billion a year for no child to go to bed hungry. How much is $3 billion? Well, Christmas bonuses given out on Wall Street last year was $36 billion. 10% of that would ensure that no child on earth would go a day without food.
Ending world hunger is within our grasp. But what can we do? Ahh, glad you asked. A special page set up especially for Late Show viewers to contribute is now online. Of every dollar, 93% goes directly towards food; only 7% pays for overhead. www.wfp.org/lateshow
ACT 7: THE VIRGINS: From their self-titled debut CD, The Virgins from New York City performed "Rich Girls." The beginning reminded me a bit of the Doobie Brothers, "Long Train Runnin'"
And that was our show for Tuesday September 30, 2008.
Don't go walking under my office window today. There's a good chance you may get hit by a computer. If my computer runs any slower, I swear I'm going to take it and chuck it out the window, although it's so slow it'll probably take a week before it hits the sidewalk.
I would like to know how many congressmen up for reelection voted for the bailout and how many voted against the bailout. My guess is they voted against it, but hoped it passed. They could then go home and tell their constituents that they tried to vote it down. "Hey, I'm on your side, guys!"
Oh, darn. . . . . Stan Kann died. Stan was one of my favorite guests on Johnny's "Tonight Show" back in the 70s. Stan would come on and demonstrate what's new in the world of gadgetry. Unfortunately, Stan would fumble and bumble his way through the entire segment, rarely getting the gadget to work the way it was designed. Think of Jack Hanna, but with gadgets and gizmos. Knowing Stan Kann was going to be on the "Tonight Show" was enough to keep me in on a Friday night. Only Stan Kann and Rodney Dangerfield could do that.
You would think that after 77 appearances on the "Tonight Show" and 89 appearances on the "Mike Douglas" show would be enough fame for anyone. But his frantic gadget demonstrations weren't what Stan was known for. Stan was better known as a world class organist. Who'd a thunk it? www.stankann.com
Hopefully, Biden or Paliln will mention him at the Vice Presidential debate Thursday night in St. Louis.
Back when I was a New York City police officer, I would wear white socks with my uniform because Paul Newman wore white socks in Fort Apache The Bronx.
So, the New York Mets blew it again this year. They were tied for a Wild Card spot going into the last game of the year. This past Sunday they played the Florida Marlins. The Mets were tied with the Milwaukee Brewers for the final playoff spot. And then within 15 minutes, the Mets fell behind by 2 and a few hundred miles away the Brewers went up by 2. And then soon afterwards both games ended that way. The Mets were out. There was great sadness in Mets land. And then following the crushing defeat, the Mets and their fans hung around to "celebrate" the closing of Shea Stadium. It was the final regular season game ever to be played at Shea Stadium, and since they lost, it was the FINAL game of any kind at Shea. Oooh, now that's what I call a tough party. I couldn't help but giggle a little at the uncomfortable feeling that must have hung over the fans at the stadium. Former Met greats and not so greats were introduced and welcomed by the fans. And then the big finish . . . . Tom Seaver takes the pitching mound . . . . Mike Piazza goes behind the plate. The two greatest Mets take their place for the final pitch in the dump of a stadium. Hall of Fame pitcher Tom Seaver winds up and . . . . double-bounces a pitch to Piazza. Huh? Tom Seaver? Can't reach home plate? A double-bouncer? What's up with that?
Back in 2001 about a month after 9/11, Game 3 of the World Series, President Bush threw a perfect strike to Yankee backup catcher Todd Greene to open the game. Derek Jeter told the President moments before the pitch to throw it from the pitcher's mound. Many who are so honored will throw the pitch from much closer. Jeter told the President to throw it from the mound or else the crowd would boo him. Bush took the mound and threw a perfect strike.
And Tom Seaver bounces the pitch at Shea?
And now it's time for "Late Night The Day They Were Born." Anne Hathaway was born November 12, 1982. So, what happened on Late Night the day Anne Hathaway was born?
November 12, 1982 was a Friday, back when there were no Late Night's on Fridays. So, what happened on Late Night the day before Anne Hathaway was born?
November 11, 1982; Late Night show #144. Guests: Merv Griffin; Brooke Shields walk on; Captain Beef-Heart; Viewer Mail with Steve Jordan; and Steve O'Donnell with the Bob Hope Sandwich
And that's what happened on Late Night the day before Anne Hathaway was born.
20 years! Twenty years ago tonight on a Friday at St. Joseph's Church in Spring Valley, New York, I wedded my lovely bride Denise. For our anniversary, I got her a blender . . . . . with 3 speeds!
Congratulations to us, Denise. Kisses and hugs.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From St. Louis, Missouri, an old favorite, it's Marian Flotron Magda.
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Anne Hathaway; Josette Sheeran; and The Virgins.
PLUS: Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; the Late Show Fun Facts Book; a "Hannity and Colmes" FOX News Promo; 2008 Candidate Spotlight; George W. Bush How'd He Do; and a Top Ten List.
" . . . and now, forefather of molecular gastronomy . . . . . David Letterman!"
ACT 1:
Monologue joke: Happy Rosh Hashanah. It's year 5679 on the Jewish calendar. And I'm still writing 5678 on my checks." Hey-Ohhh! Fanfare from Paul. If's a joke Dave's been telling for years and years.
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES
We find the President on stage in a chat with a woman. After the woman answers where she works, he retorts, "What does that mean? You sell lamps?"
ACT 2:
Dave, directly to the camera, "Let me tell you something, ladies and gentlemen, you're looking at a guy torn between duty and desire."
Dave explains that there are many many problems in the world. All you have to do is ready the daily papers. Often times we just sigh and wonder what we can do. Later in the show, we will have someone who is doing something about it. It's the Executive Director of the United Nations World Food Programme, Josette Sheeran. She'll explain what is being done to end world hunger.
And if it's your funny bone that is hungry, then you should think about purchasing the "Late Show Fun Facts" book, now a member of Oprah's Book Club.
As a public service, we thought we'd give voters a more intimate look at the 2008 presidential candidates. In this installment, we featured the Republican nominee, Senator John McCain.
We find McCain sitting at a desk. Looking directly into the camera, the Senator states, "I use Canadian quarters to buy Twix bars in Senate vending machines. What are you gonna do about it?"
All of the cable news networks are heavily promoting their election coverage. Earlier today, Dave saw this commercial for FOX News. We take a look. Announce: "FOX News is America's election headquarters. Fair. Balanced. With the clear, concise commentary you've come to expect from FOX News."
We see a clip from "Hannity and Colmes." Speaking all at once: Sean Hannity, Alan B. Colmes, Karl Rove, and Howard Wolfson. This continues for a good 30 seconds. In the middle of all this, a question is posed to U.N. Ambassador John Bolton via satellite. After a beat, Bolton can only say, "I'm sorry, I didn't hear the question."
With his two terms coming to a close, we're learning that President Bush has begun reflecting on his legacy. That's why we thought it would be interesting to look back at his convention speeches from 2000 and 2004 and compare it to what we know now.
We watch the clip filled with BUZZes signaling the President's promises that didn't quite pan out. My favorite part was watching the 2000 President slightly squint his eyes to show he really means business, like a 3rd grader full of bluster. It convinced enough of us to vote him in twice.
ACT 3: TOP TEN: Signs Your Bank Is In Trouble 7. Was a Savings & Loan; now a Savings & Loan & Chicken Shack 2. When you ask where your money is, they say in an adorable Alaska accent, "I'll try to find it and I'll bring it to ya!"
ANNE HATHAWAY: I know her from the Ella Enchanted and The Princess Diaries. My girls have seen those movies about a hundred times each. Happily, she gets the guy at the end.
Anne is proud to report that she's given up smoking. She admits to being a "secret smoker" for awhile now but has now decided to come out in the open and announce she's quit. And she's going through other changes as well. She's stopped drinking, stopped eating meat and fish and stopped having fun. She's not a complete Vegan, though, since she still wears leather and eats cheese. Well, there's your fun right there; wearing leather and eating cheese.
I once considered becoming a vegetarian but meat is so darn delicious!
Dave treads on delicate territory when he brings up the subject of Anne's very public breakup with her boyfriend. She dated this guy for 4 years. Soon following the breakup, this real estate developer was arrested on charges he scammed a number of investors out of $6 million. He claimed he had ties to the Vatican and he was in charge of its financial affairs. Ohhhh, talk about bad Karma. All this went on unbeknownst to her. Did she ever notice stuff missing from her purse? No.
And since that time, she's been "attached" to many new men in her life, at least that's what the tabloids are reporting. Anne says none of that is true. A hot Australian? Nope. Brody Jenner? Who? No. She talks to her friends at least 20 times a day, yet they are the ones badgering her with questions about what they read in the Nagazines.
Nagazines! Hey, I just made that up. I like it. I think I'll get that trademarked or copyrighted, that is, if I knew how. Nagazines ™.
Anne is a bit annoyed at her friends. If any of that were true about the Australian or Brody Jenner (who?), she would have told them long ago.
Anne's new film, Rachel Getting Married opens this Friday in selected cities. It has gotten rave reviews at film festivals in Toronto and Venice. Hopefully, your city has been selected.
ACT 5: Announce: "Tomorrow on the Late Show, Dave welcomes Kate Walsh, Barry Sonnenfeld, and musical guest Darius Rucker.
The Late Show: Oh, it's on, people!
We'll be right back."
ACT 6: JOSETTE SHEERAN
She's the Executive Director of the United Nations World Food Programme, which provides nourishment to 90 million people around the world. Josette sums up the program: "Our goal is to put hunger out of business."
The World Food Programme (WFP) was founded in 1963 and is the world's largest humanitarian agency. Those who work for the WFP are true heroes. When you think "United Nations" you probably think of those in a suit and tie doing a lot of talking at the U.N. But those of the WFP risk their lives to see that victims of famine, drought, floods, earthquakes, rebels, corrupt governments, and war are fed. Currently, there are 48 drivers of the WFP missing in action.
But fighting world hunger seems like such a huge undertaking. It is, but we have the resources and people to "put it out of business." It's just that the wrong people have to get out of the way and let the right people in.
Josette shows a simple cup to illustrate what the WFP does. This red cup she is holding up is used at school feeding centers. It costs 25 cents to fill a cup so the child can have a meal at school. The porridge is fortified with de-worming tablets and Vitamin A to fight night-blindness. $50 will fill the cup for a year and change a child's life.
One success story of the Red Cup comes from NYC marathon winner, Paul Tergat of Kenya. At the age of 8 he would regularly collapse on his way to school from lack of nourishment. The WFP came to his community and started providing the cup of food. He doubts he would have survived without that daily nourishment. And now Paul Tergat is a NYC Marathon champion who has ran across the stage of the Ed Sullivan Theater.
What would it take to end world hunger? Senator George McGovern priced it out to $3 billion a year for no child to go to bed hungry. How much is $3 billion? Well, Christmas bonuses given out on Wall Street last year was $36 billion. 10% of that would ensure that no child on earth would go a day without food.
Ending world hunger is within our grasp. But what can we do? Ahh, glad you asked. A special page set up especially for Late Show viewers to contribute is now online. Of every dollar, 93% goes directly towards food; only 7% pays for overhead. www.wfp.org/lateshow
ACT 7: THE VIRGINS: From their self-titled debut CD, The Virgins from New York City performed "Rich Girls." The beginning reminded me a bit of the Doobie Brothers, "Long Train Runnin'"
And that was our show for Tuesday September 30, 2008.
Don't go walking under my office window today. There's a good chance you may get hit by a computer. If my computer runs any slower, I swear I'm going to take it and chuck it out the window, although it's so slow it'll probably take a week before it hits the sidewalk.
I would like to know how many congressmen up for reelection voted for the bailout and how many voted against the bailout. My guess is they voted against it, but hoped it passed. They could then go home and tell their constituents that they tried to vote it down. "Hey, I'm on your side, guys!"
Oh, darn. . . . . Stan Kann died. Stan was one of my favorite guests on Johnny's "Tonight Show" back in the 70s. Stan would come on and demonstrate what's new in the world of gadgetry. Unfortunately, Stan would fumble and bumble his way through the entire segment, rarely getting the gadget to work the way it was designed. Think of Jack Hanna, but with gadgets and gizmos. Knowing Stan Kann was going to be on the "Tonight Show" was enough to keep me in on a Friday night. Only Stan Kann and Rodney Dangerfield could do that.
You would think that after 77 appearances on the "Tonight Show" and 89 appearances on the "Mike Douglas" show would be enough fame for anyone. But his frantic gadget demonstrations weren't what Stan was known for. Stan was better known as a world class organist. Who'd a thunk it? www.stankann.com
Hopefully, Biden or Paliln will mention him at the Vice Presidential debate Thursday night in St. Louis.
Back when I was a New York City police officer, I would wear white socks with my uniform because Paul Newman wore white socks in Fort Apache The Bronx.
So, the New York Mets blew it again this year. They were tied for a Wild Card spot going into the last game of the year. This past Sunday they played the Florida Marlins. The Mets were tied with the Milwaukee Brewers for the final playoff spot. And then within 15 minutes, the Mets fell behind by 2 and a few hundred miles away the Brewers went up by 2. And then soon afterwards both games ended that way. The Mets were out. There was great sadness in Mets land. And then following the crushing defeat, the Mets and their fans hung around to "celebrate" the closing of Shea Stadium. It was the final regular season game ever to be played at Shea Stadium, and since they lost, it was the FINAL game of any kind at Shea. Oooh, now that's what I call a tough party. I couldn't help but giggle a little at the uncomfortable feeling that must have hung over the fans at the stadium. Former Met greats and not so greats were introduced and welcomed by the fans. And then the big finish . . . . Tom Seaver takes the pitching mound . . . . Mike Piazza goes behind the plate. The two greatest Mets take their place for the final pitch in the dump of a stadium. Hall of Fame pitcher Tom Seaver winds up and . . . . double-bounces a pitch to Piazza. Huh? Tom Seaver? Can't reach home plate? A double-bouncer? What's up with that?
Back in 2001 about a month after 9/11, Game 3 of the World Series, President Bush threw a perfect strike to Yankee backup catcher Todd Greene to open the game. Derek Jeter told the President moments before the pitch to throw it from the pitcher's mound. Many who are so honored will throw the pitch from much closer. Jeter told the President to throw it from the mound or else the crowd would boo him. Bush took the mound and threw a perfect strike.
And Tom Seaver bounces the pitch at Shea?
And now it's time for "Late Night The Day They Were Born." Anne Hathaway was born November 12, 1982. So, what happened on Late Night the day Anne Hathaway was born?
November 12, 1982 was a Friday, back when there were no Late Night's on Fridays. So, what happened on Late Night the day before Anne Hathaway was born?
November 11, 1982; Late Night show #144. Guests: Merv Griffin; Brooke Shields walk on; Captain Beef-Heart; Viewer Mail with Steve Jordan; and Steve O'Donnell with the Bob Hope Sandwich
And that's what happened on Late Night the day before Anne Hathaway was born.
20 years! Twenty years ago tonight on a Friday at St. Joseph's Church in Spring Valley, New York, I wedded my lovely bride Denise. For our anniversary, I got her a blender . . . . . with 3 speeds!
Congratulations to us, Denise. Kisses and hugs.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From St. Louis, Missouri, an old favorite, it's Marian Flotron Magda.
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
ACT 1 • Show Open • Dave's Monologue Watch now • Great Moments in Presidential Speeches
ACT 2 • "Fun Facts" Book in Oprah's Book Club • Late Show 2008 Candidate Spotlight • Fox News Promo • Cameraman Dave Dorsett Wants to Leave to Help with the Bailout • Congress Taking More Time Off • George W. Bush: How'd He Do?
ACT 3 • Top Ten Signs Your Bank Is In Trouble Read now
