" . . . and now, compensated spokesperson . . . . David Letterman."

ACT 1:
Monologue jokes:
-"On this date in 1972, the Dow Jones Industrial Average hit 1,000 for the first time. Unfortunately, it did the same thing today." (Oy, I remember it hitting 1,000) -"Obama wants a dog that won't shed. So that rules out the thing on Donald Trump's head."

Great Moments in Presidential Speeches
Bush: (shading his eyes and looking out into the audience) "That's not a seersucker suit, is it?" (Oy, I remember wearing a seersucker suit)

Did you see Dan Quayle behind Bush Sr. in the lead-in to Great Moments? I forgot how cute he was. Whenever I see Dan Quayle, I think that if our present President selected Dan Quayle as his V.P., George W. would be considered the smart one of the two.

ACT 2:
Be sure to tune in next week. Here at the Late Show we are celebrating, "Tribute Bands Week."
Monday: Purple Reign (Prince)
Tuesday: The Cold Hard Cash Show (Johnny Cash)
Wednesday: Mr. Brownstone (Guns N' Roses)
Thursday: Super Diamond (Neil Diamond)
Friday: The All-Starz (James Brown)

Don't miss it. And if you can't make it, have someone who looks and sounds like you watch the show.

Of course, none of the above could beat the best cover band of them all; Paul Shaffer and the CBS Orchestra.

Everyone is still talking about the eerie hologram special effects CNN used on election night. Dave thinks the CNN people are now getting a little carried away with it. The accolades have gone to their heads. We take a look at what happened on "The Situation Room" earlier today with Wolf Blitzer.
On the set of "The Situation Room," a beam of light lasers down and what should appear? A cute little kitty! The kitty meows amongst Wolf and the pundits. Says Dave, "Wolf Blitzer doesn't even know it's there."

LATE SHOW FUN FACTS - now Times Square billboard worthy!

ACT 3:
TOP TEN
Signs You're Watching A Bad Spy Film - The 22nd James Bond film, "Quantum of Solace," opened today in the United States.
5. Villain's plot to destroy the world's financial system is foiled when the banks beat him to it.
4. Main character announces, "The name's Bond; Shecky Bond."
1. He promises to find Osama, yet 7 years later, nothing.

BILL COSBY
Dr. Cosby comes out and takes a seat on a stool centerstage. He begins, "A long time ago, my wife Camille said to me she wanted "to grow old together." Bill then just looks into the audience, allowing us to read into that what we might. It's not always the "Norman Rockwell/rocking on the front porch/reading books together" image we would hope.
Bill says, "I am not what I appear to be." Inside, Bill is a strong, agile, virile, solid man. At least that's what he thinks. He was walking down the street the other day. He strode erect, straight back, perfect posture, chin held high . . . striding striding striding proud. But his shadow . . . . when he looked down at his shadow . . . . . his shadow looked old and feeble. His shadow was hunched over and frail. Bill felt sorry for his shadow and told it to sit down. And his shadow did. It left. Bill was later told that his shadow was seen lying down on a park bench. But how could that be? Bill is still strong like an ox. How could his shadow be in such poor shape? Either Bill or his shadow is lying.

Bill takes a seat with Dave and asks for a tissue. This leads into a tangent about blowing one's nose and the brown paper towels we would use in grade school to blow our nose. I laughed at the reference, as I would often need those very paper towels. Bill remembers those brown paper towels as having the delicacy of a rasp file.

Dave asks Dr. Cosby his thoughts of the election. Bill touchingly says he went to the voting booth with a photo of his mother and father, who are both deceased, and a photo of his brother, who died when he was 6 and Bill was 7. Once inside the voting booth, he took out the pictures and put them in front of him. He spoke to the photos, saying, "Okay, everybody, we're going to vote."

It's been 25 years since "The Cosby Show" hit TV. Yikes. You can get all 8 seasons, 1984-1992, in a new "25th Anniversary Commemorative" DVD set. For those of you too young to remember "The Cosby Show," damn you! For those of you too young to remember, "The Cosby Show" was a huge NBC hit, a wonderful comfortable TV show for the whole family. The only thing that comes close to that on TV today is repeats of "The Cosby Show."
Bill was involved in the casting of the show. Many auditioned for the role of Mrs. Huxtable and Bill wanted to make sure the right choice was made. Phylicia Ayers-Allen came in and she sat reading with a child as part of the audition. The kid at one point says something like, "Well, I really don't want to." Phylicia responded with a look. She didn't say anything, did not get up and do anything, she didn't shake her head. All she did was give a look . . . THAT LOOK . . . and that's all Bill had to see. Phylicia got the part.
"The Cosby Show" - all 8 seasons. It'll fit snugly in your Christmas stocking.

ACT 5:
Announce: "Monday on the Late Show, Dave welcomes Emma Thompson, and kicking off Tribute Bands Week, musical guest Purple Reign.
The Late Show! It's the weekend! I'm going to have some delicious cake! We'll be right back."

ACT 7:
THE ANSWER: From their EP CD, "Never Too Late," the band from Northern Ireland making their network television debut, The Answer performed "Never Too Late." Here's something I bet lead singer Cormac Neeson never heard before: He sounds like Robert Plant.

And that was our show for Friday, November 13, 2008.



My wife Denise was on the phone with "help support" for her computer the other day. Her computer, the manufacturer will remain anonymous for now, has been trouble from day one. She is on the phone with someone from . . . I don't know, but not from here. The guy was very nice, very patient, and tried to be helpful. His final suggestion was he was out of suggestions, so he would have a box sent to the house and Denise should send it out to be fixed. But all during the conversation I was able to hear on speaker phone this guy responding to Denise's complaints. He would always respond slowly, "Right." The computer isn't doing this . . . . . . "Riiiight." And it's not doing this . . . . "Riiiiight." And all I see on the computer screen is this . . . . "Right." Listening in but certainly not wanting to get involved in the foreign language of computers, I kept thinking of Bill Cosby's album, "Bill Cosby Is A Very Funny Fellow. Right!" The "right" reference is from Noah's repetitive response to God when God orders him to build an ark. "Riiight."
The guy at "Help Support" reminded me of Noah.

When Hillary Clinton was growing up, most women could only dream of a career as a teacher, nurse, or secretary. And it looks like she'll have to settle for secretary.

Thursday's monologue joke:
- "The Bidens met with the Cheney's earlier today. And when it was time to leave, Cheney told them they'd have to spend the night because the bridge was out."

I liked this joke but I was afraid it would go by the home viewer before he or she could absorb the joke. I read the joke before I heard it. Reading allowed me the time to look it over and figure it out. The "psycho sting" from Paul during the monologue gave hint to the idea behind it. Basically, it's a common horror film set-up of a young couple stranded at an evil stranger's house and they are unable to leave due to "the bridge is out." Mayhem ensues later that night. The joke reference here: the Biden's are the "young" couple. Cheney is the evil "stranger."

Years ago, I worked a 4X12 shift. This was during the time the Cosby Show was raging the television world. It was the biggest thing on TV. But my working 4 to 12 each day prevented me from seeing a single episode. I heard a lot about the show but never saw it. And then one Thanksgiving as I was fighting the sleep-inducing tryptophan, the Cosby Show came on. I watched and enjoyed. Good role models, some good laughs, a fine half-hour of TV. And that was it. It was a year before I saw a Cosby episode again. It was Thanksgiving one year later. I was again with a belly Full O' Fowl and about to doze in front of the TV. And then up came the Cosby Show. I sat up to watch my second-ever Cosby show. And it was the very same Thanksgiving episode from the year before. And that was it. I saw the Cosby show twice, both the same episode.

Jump ahead two years. I'm now a police officer sitting in my patrol car on the east side of Manhattan. I'm parked on a side street filling out some paperwork. Up ahead on the sidewalk chatting with someone is Bill Cosby. I'm not a celebrity hound. Their privacy is more important than my hoping to pal around with one. Plus, I've learned it's easier to simply tell people, "I shook hands with Bill Cosby" then it is to go up to him and say, "Can I shake your hand, Mr. Cosby?" Pretending is easier, and I always prefer "easy". I look at Bill. He looks at me. I take the P.A. microphone and say softly, "Roseanne sucks." He enjoyed that.

Just a reminder in this time of hot stove baseball trades . . . if the age is not given of the minor leaguer your team just got in a trade, then the news is worthless. A 24-year-old pitcher who was 5-3 in Double-A ball isn't worth much. But a 21-year-old with the same record can really be something.

The Wahoo Gazette: Still without commercials.

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
He turns 51 this Sunday . . . . . . I can't believe I have friends who are 51 . . . . from Deerfield Beach, Florida, by way of Commack, Long Island and SUNY Cortland grad, it's Gary Deperino.
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER

Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com