DAVETV If you could look at only one thing on the Internet, DaveTV would be the obvious choice. What other so-called "website" lets you watch LATE SHOW Highlights, Comedy Clips, Slideshows, Stupid Trick clips and The Tony Mendez Show?
TOP TEN LIST You know it, you love it, you can't live without it: the revolutionary comedy bit that won Dave the Nobel Peace Prize. Check out the latest Top Ten List here.
TOP TEN ARCHIVES Old Top Ten Lists never die, they just get archived. The Top Ten Archives is searchable by date and keyword. Also, please note that the word "archives" contains the word "chives."
TOP TEN CONTEST So you think you're as funny as Dave's writers? Or maybe you just enjoy wasting time at work? See if you've got the chops to win a great prize in our weekly Top Ten Contest.
TOP TEN SEARCH Search Results.
TOP TEN SEARCH Search Results.
WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Denis Leary, John Mayer and Chris Botti, and Dave’s Mom. PLUS:Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; The Late Show Thanksgiving Dinner; a Monkey Sneeze; a Top Ten List; Today at the CBS Store; and Dave’s Mom Bakes Some Pies.
" . . . and now, gibletter to the stars . . . . . . . David Letterman."
ACT 1:
Today’s show recap is going to be quick. I gots some turkey waiting for me to be ate.
MONOLOGUE:
- "Everyone loves the giant balloons. They’re America’s favorite inflatables . . . after Pam Anderson." And then Tony says something about the McCain balloon. Huh? Dave says, " . . . the McCain balloon . . . it never got off the ground."
- "Don’t you love to go back home and visit the parents? It’s fun to see a rotary phone again, isn’t it?"
I love the rotary phone. I bought one recently at a garage sale. It’s 40 years old and it’ll last another 40.
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES BUSH: "I ehh . . . ehhh . . . I . . . I . . . .I . . . I have no earthly idea what you’re talking about."
ACT 2:
Back from commercial, Dave does a few pencil flips for his own amusement. I included this just so I can "search it" if needed.
We’re going to pay a visit with Dave’s mom a little later to guess the pies. Here are the pies mom has baked for the show in the past.
MOM’S PIES -- THIS IS THE 15TH YEAR
2007 -- NO PIES -- WRITERS STRIKE
2006 -- 1. PUMPKIN -- 2. APPLE
2005 -- 1. PUMPKIN -- 2. BLUEBERRY
2004 -- 1. PUMPKIN -- 2. CHOCOLATE CHIFFON
2003 -- 1. APPLE -- 2. PECAN
2002 -- 1. PUMPKIN -- 2. RASPBERRY
2001 -- 1. PUMPKIN -- 2. LEMON CHIFFON
2000 -- 1. PUMPKIN -- 2. APPLE
1999 -- 1. PUMPKIN -- 2. RED RASPBERRY CHIFFON
1998 -- 1. PUMPKIN -- 2. RHUBARB
1997 -- 1. CHERRY -- 2. COCONUT BUTTERSCOTCH PECAN
1996 -- 1. CHERRY -- 2. HICKORY NUT
1995 -- 1. PUMPKIN -- 2. CHERRY
1994 -- 1. PUMPKIN -- 2. TWO CHERRY PIES
1993 -- 1. (only one pie in 1993) ORANGE PUMPKIN PIE WITH WHIPPED CREAM AND HICKORY NUTS
Every year at the Late Show we have a lovely Thanksgiving dinner with the staff and crew. We take a look at some highlights.
After some shots of the staff and their kids, we see:
- the dinner servers ordered their Thanksgiving costumes too late and were left serving in as an alien, a dog, and Dracula.
- We share the dinner with out interns. We see a staffer throw a plate of food into their office.
- Staffer Joe Grossman came to work with his monkey, Sherman.
- And Dave ate a sandwich in his office . . . all alone.
And because it’s the holiday, we have some special bonus footage. Sherman the monkey sneezing! And we captured it on tape.
Let’s say hello to Mom. She’s looking better than ever. After baking the pies, mom likes to go outside and wave at the cars. When she sees an out-of-state license, she goes crazy!
Dave and mom go into a trance; mom to psychically send to Dave the pies she baked; Dave for comedic purpose.
Dave asks the following:
Any new pies? Mom says there is one. WOW! This put my Pie Pool in disarray. It’s like a team getting a safety in the first minute of the Super Bowl.
Pumpkin? NO.
Fruit family? NO.
Is one just dough? No.
Nut family? Yes.
Hickory Nut? NO
Hazel Nut? NO.
Walnut? NO.
Peanut? Well . . . . yes, it could be.
PIE NUMBER 1 is Peanut Butter Pie.
Pie number 2. After a few guesses, we end find the Pie #2 is . . . . . PECAN. This year’s winner in the Pie Pool is Peanut Butter and Pecan.
The Late Show Thanksgiving Pie Pool winner is Talent Coordinator Mike Buczkiewicz. He wins 100 units. "Units" because we are not allowed by law to deal in dollars. Pie Pools are only legal in Las Vegas and Atlantic City.
And what is that . . . . a third pie? Yup. Mom reveals her 3rd pie . . . . it’s a frozen pizza.
ACT 3: TOP TEN: Signs You’re Watching A Bad Thanksgiving Day Parade.
10. The Garfield balloon is anatomically correct.
3. Hillary still hasn’t decided whether she’ll be the Grand Marshall.
DENIS LEARY
His new book, "Why We Suck: A Feel Good Guide To Staying Fat, Loud, Lazy and Stupid" is on the New York Times Bestsellers list. Denis apologizes to all the real writers who break their back trying to make a living. He admits his book looks like a book and that’s about it.
Dave takes a moment to sneeze. And a split second later the Control Room had the clip of the monkey sneezing. Nice job, Control Room!
Some topics covered: Nipple hair and busted penises. I would spend more time on these two topics but it is Thanksgiving and I want to go home.
Denis was hoping to find some stuff on Oprah that would put her in the "suck" category but he couldn’t find anything.
Says Dave about Oprah, "I know she’s busted more than one penis!"
"Why We Suck" -- in stores now. I think I’ll be picking this one up.
ACT 5: ANNOUNCE: "Tomorrow on the Late Show, Dave welcomes Tom Arnold and musical guest Faith Hill. Thank you for making us the number one watched show by sneezing monkeys.
We’ll be right back."
ACT 6:
It’s Thanksgiving and the CBS Store is open. Since we’re working and they’re working, we decide to make a visit.
It’s Johnny Dark, playing the role of Stanley Cronkite, CBS Store employee.
He doesn’t want to be there. Not much business today. Totally oblivious that there was a parade right outside his door today. But he did make $10 charging a guy for using the bathroom. Does the CBS Store have a bathroom? No.
ACT 7: JOHN MAYER AND CHRIS BOTTI -- John Mayer and Chris Botti performed "In The Wee Small Hours." Look for John’s new DVD, "Where The Light Is: Live From Los Angeles" in stores now.
And that was our show for November 27, 2008.
I don’t consider it officially Thanksgiving until the family gathers around the living room and watch the Detroit Lions lose.
I had my girls here at the show today. Dominique and Danielle loved the typewriter. They never saw a word processor and a printer all-in-one.
This is John Mayer’s 4th year in a row being here on Thanksgiving. The string started in 2004 and of course 2007 was skipped due to the writers strike.
23 years ago I took my 5-year-old niece to the Thanksgiving Day Parade. Right in a row we saw the Bullwinkle balloon, the Underdog balloon, the Superman balloon and the Olive Oyl balloon. I liked it. She had no idea who they were. And I remember looking up at the windows of the buildings on Broadway and thinking, "Man, I wish I was up in one of those." And now, here I am.
The New York Football Giants remind me of the 1996 New York Yankees. No one on the team is the best in the league, but from top to bottom they are solid, smart, and professional. And you don’t see any "Look At Me, Everybody" (L.A.M.E.) dancing and prancing after every touchdown and first down. I like their business attitude. They are easy to root for.
I really like the Shockey-less Giants.
The pardoning has begun. President George W. Bush has started the end-of-the-season pardoning of the guilty. I would rather see him pardon the debt of an unfortunate; someone who had followed the rules, did his best, and did as was told but fell victim to circumstance beyond his control to fall into debt. If he feels the need to pardon, pick a few of these names out of a hat. Find an innocent guilty rather than a guilty guilty.
Oh, and this is the 31st Anniversary of when I first learned to like the taste of beer. I was 19 years old and a sophomore in college. I had been drinking since March of 16 years old, so I’ve been at it for 3-and-a-half years up to this point. Not hard drinking, but I enjoyed the sips. I was home for Thanksgiving break and played in the Ramapo vs. Spring Valley Alumni High School Football game; full pads, referees, paid admission, the works. We won the game. I contributed an opening 2nd half kickoff runback to the 10 yard line. Ever feel like you’re running with a sanitation truck on your back? That’s what I felt like. I could see daylight in front of me but my legs weren’t responding. It was like one of those bad dreams. To this day I kick myself for not cutting back against the grain when the Valley Tiger knocked me out of bounds at the 10. Anyway, we scored on the next play. After the game, some of us Ramapo Gryphons stopped off at the Hillcrest Fire House for a beer out of the vending machine. And I still remember thinking when I gulped that first sip of Budweiser that early afternoon . . . "Wow, this is delicious!"
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Sparkill, New York, it’s Dominique, Danielle, and Denise McIntee.
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Denis Leary, John Mayer and Chris Botti, and Dave’s Mom. PLUS:Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; The Late Show Thanksgiving Dinner; a Monkey Sneeze; a Top Ten List; Today at the CBS Store; and Dave’s Mom Bakes Some Pies.
" . . . and now, gibletter to the stars . . . . . . . David Letterman."
ACT 1:
Today’s show recap is going to be quick. I gots some turkey waiting for me to be ate.
MONOLOGUE:
- "Everyone loves the giant balloons. They’re America’s favorite inflatables . . . after Pam Anderson." And then Tony says something about the McCain balloon. Huh? Dave says, " . . . the McCain balloon . . . it never got off the ground."
- "Don’t you love to go back home and visit the parents? It’s fun to see a rotary phone again, isn’t it?"
I love the rotary phone. I bought one recently at a garage sale. It’s 40 years old and it’ll last another 40.
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES BUSH: "I ehh . . . ehhh . . . I . . . I . . . .I . . . I have no earthly idea what you’re talking about."
ACT 2:
Back from commercial, Dave does a few pencil flips for his own amusement. I included this just so I can "search it" if needed.
We’re going to pay a visit with Dave’s mom a little later to guess the pies. Here are the pies mom has baked for the show in the past.
MOM’S PIES -- THIS IS THE 15TH YEAR
2007 -- NO PIES -- WRITERS STRIKE
2006 -- 1. PUMPKIN -- 2. APPLE
2005 -- 1. PUMPKIN -- 2. BLUEBERRY
2004 -- 1. PUMPKIN -- 2. CHOCOLATE CHIFFON
2003 -- 1. APPLE -- 2. PECAN
2002 -- 1. PUMPKIN -- 2. RASPBERRY
2001 -- 1. PUMPKIN -- 2. LEMON CHIFFON
2000 -- 1. PUMPKIN -- 2. APPLE
1999 -- 1. PUMPKIN -- 2. RED RASPBERRY CHIFFON
1998 -- 1. PUMPKIN -- 2. RHUBARB
1997 -- 1. CHERRY -- 2. COCONUT BUTTERSCOTCH PECAN
1996 -- 1. CHERRY -- 2. HICKORY NUT
1995 -- 1. PUMPKIN -- 2. CHERRY
1994 -- 1. PUMPKIN -- 2. TWO CHERRY PIES
1993 -- 1. (only one pie in 1993) ORANGE PUMPKIN PIE WITH WHIPPED CREAM AND HICKORY NUTS
Every year at the Late Show we have a lovely Thanksgiving dinner with the staff and crew. We take a look at some highlights.
After some shots of the staff and their kids, we see:
- the dinner servers ordered their Thanksgiving costumes too late and were left serving in as an alien, a dog, and Dracula.
- We share the dinner with out interns. We see a staffer throw a plate of food into their office.
- Staffer Joe Grossman came to work with his monkey, Sherman.
- And Dave ate a sandwich in his office . . . all alone.
And because it’s the holiday, we have some special bonus footage. Sherman the monkey sneezing! And we captured it on tape.
Let’s say hello to Mom. She’s looking better than ever. After baking the pies, mom likes to go outside and wave at the cars. When she sees an out-of-state license, she goes crazy!
Dave and mom go into a trance; mom to psychically send to Dave the pies she baked; Dave for comedic purpose.
Dave asks the following:
Any new pies? Mom says there is one. WOW! This put my Pie Pool in disarray. It’s like a team getting a safety in the first minute of the Super Bowl.
Pumpkin? NO.
Fruit family? NO.
Is one just dough? No.
Nut family? Yes.
Hickory Nut? NO
Hazel Nut? NO.
Walnut? NO.
Peanut? Well . . . . yes, it could be.
PIE NUMBER 1 is Peanut Butter Pie.
Pie number 2. After a few guesses, we end find the Pie #2 is . . . . . PECAN. This year’s winner in the Pie Pool is Peanut Butter and Pecan.
The Late Show Thanksgiving Pie Pool winner is Talent Coordinator Mike Buczkiewicz. He wins 100 units. "Units" because we are not allowed by law to deal in dollars. Pie Pools are only legal in Las Vegas and Atlantic City.
And what is that . . . . a third pie? Yup. Mom reveals her 3rd pie . . . . it’s a frozen pizza.
ACT 3: TOP TEN: Signs You’re Watching A Bad Thanksgiving Day Parade.
10. The Garfield balloon is anatomically correct.
3. Hillary still hasn’t decided whether she’ll be the Grand Marshall.
DENIS LEARY
His new book, "Why We Suck: A Feel Good Guide To Staying Fat, Loud, Lazy and Stupid" is on the New York Times Bestsellers list. Denis apologizes to all the real writers who break their back trying to make a living. He admits his book looks like a book and that’s about it.
Dave takes a moment to sneeze. And a split second later the Control Room had the clip of the monkey sneezing. Nice job, Control Room!
Some topics covered: Nipple hair and busted penises. I would spend more time on these two topics but it is Thanksgiving and I want to go home.
Denis was hoping to find some stuff on Oprah that would put her in the "suck" category but he couldn’t find anything.
Says Dave about Oprah, "I know she’s busted more than one penis!"
"Why We Suck" -- in stores now. I think I’ll be picking this one up.
ACT 5: ANNOUNCE: "Tomorrow on the Late Show, Dave welcomes Tom Arnold and musical guest Faith Hill. Thank you for making us the number one watched show by sneezing monkeys.
We’ll be right back."
ACT 6:
It’s Thanksgiving and the CBS Store is open. Since we’re working and they’re working, we decide to make a visit.
It’s Johnny Dark, playing the role of Stanley Cronkite, CBS Store employee.
He doesn’t want to be there. Not much business today. Totally oblivious that there was a parade right outside his door today. But he did make $10 charging a guy for using the bathroom. Does the CBS Store have a bathroom? No.
ACT 7: JOHN MAYER AND CHRIS BOTTI -- John Mayer and Chris Botti performed "In The Wee Small Hours." Look for John’s new DVD, "Where The Light Is: Live From Los Angeles" in stores now.
And that was our show for November 27, 2008.
I don’t consider it officially Thanksgiving until the family gathers around the living room and watch the Detroit Lions lose.
I had my girls here at the show today. Dominique and Danielle loved the typewriter. They never saw a word processor and a printer all-in-one.
This is John Mayer’s 4th year in a row being here on Thanksgiving. The string started in 2004 and of course 2007 was skipped due to the writers strike.
23 years ago I took my 5-year-old niece to the Thanksgiving Day Parade. Right in a row we saw the Bullwinkle balloon, the Underdog balloon, the Superman balloon and the Olive Oyl balloon. I liked it. She had no idea who they were. And I remember looking up at the windows of the buildings on Broadway and thinking, "Man, I wish I was up in one of those." And now, here I am.
The New York Football Giants remind me of the 1996 New York Yankees. No one on the team is the best in the league, but from top to bottom they are solid, smart, and professional. And you don’t see any "Look At Me, Everybody" (L.A.M.E.) dancing and prancing after every touchdown and first down. I like their business attitude. They are easy to root for.
I really like the Shockey-less Giants.
The pardoning has begun. President George W. Bush has started the end-of-the-season pardoning of the guilty. I would rather see him pardon the debt of an unfortunate; someone who had followed the rules, did his best, and did as was told but fell victim to circumstance beyond his control to fall into debt. If he feels the need to pardon, pick a few of these names out of a hat. Find an innocent guilty rather than a guilty guilty.
Oh, and this is the 31st Anniversary of when I first learned to like the taste of beer. I was 19 years old and a sophomore in college. I had been drinking since March of 16 years old, so I’ve been at it for 3-and-a-half years up to this point. Not hard drinking, but I enjoyed the sips. I was home for Thanksgiving break and played in the Ramapo vs. Spring Valley Alumni High School Football game; full pads, referees, paid admission, the works. We won the game. I contributed an opening 2nd half kickoff runback to the 10 yard line. Ever feel like you’re running with a sanitation truck on your back? That’s what I felt like. I could see daylight in front of me but my legs weren’t responding. It was like one of those bad dreams. To this day I kick myself for not cutting back against the grain when the Valley Tiger knocked me out of bounds at the 10. Anyway, we scored on the next play. After the game, some of us Ramapo Gryphons stopped off at the Hillcrest Fire House for a beer out of the vending machine. And I still remember thinking when I gulped that first sip of Budweiser that early afternoon . . . "Wow, this is delicious!"
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Sparkill, New York, it’s Dominique, Danielle, and Denise McIntee.
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
